Santa here. I send greetings to my fellow elves! Thank you for your excellent work so far this season. We have a couple of weeks to go and I was asked by the organizers of the Tracker Elf Conference to participate in Questions and Answers. You elves supply the questions and I supply the answers.
We have been at this a couple of weeks. These are all questions that came in from the Tracker Elf Conference survey. We have filtered out the usual “What am I getting for Christmas?” and “What time will you be to my house?” kind of questions. We want to focus on tracking, getting around the world, and fulfilling our goals for Operation Merry Christmas.
Here we go:
Q: How does your sleigh fit so many presents?
A: It holds a lot but not the whole world’s worth of presents. Long before I launch from the North Pole there is an effort called Operation Airlift which is run by North Pole Flight Command. They launch thousands and thousands of sleighs before, during and after my launch. These sleighs are mostly freighters that move things around. Part of that operation is a complicated process that sees my sleigh constantly re-supplied. As I stop and make visits in homes those sleighs and the elves and reindeer assigned to them re-supply my sleigh. All night long this happens, all over the world. It is a massive operation largely unseen by the world. Part of the magic of Christmas Eve is that it is the one night of the year when seeing a flying sleigh is really possible because there are thousands of sleighs out there – not just me. Great question.
Q: What’s the hardest problem while taking the big trip, and is their anything we can do to help you out?
A: The biggest challenge is not knowing what I’m going to run into. That is why what you are doing now, in the weeks before I launch, is so helpful. The more I know about a home, a neighborhood, the weather, trees, fences, dogs, traffic, new construction, etc. the better I am able to do my job. The best thing you can do is to be thorough in your reports and think like I have to think when I fly. Be eyes up. When you see something that would concern anyone coming into your neighborhood with a huge sleigh and flying reindeer, say something.
Q: How many tracker elves would you like to see do their job this year? Why do you love the tracker elf program?
A: We used to worry about how many elves. We thought the more elves we have the more reports we get. We learned that’s not true. We made changes this year to weed out the people who wanted to be elves but wouldn’t do the work of elves. We have fewer elves this year than last year. That does not matter because we are getting more reports and better reports this year. I am expecting MUCH better results in my flight this year because I simply have better information. I love the fact that we have whittled things down to elves who really care, really work and really celebrate Christmas. This is fun.
Q: Can you magically just fly?
A: No. No magic about it. It takes training, talented reindeer, talented elves, expertly designed sleighs and lots of speed to fly.
Q: Does Santa give gifts to grown-ups too who believe, or just to kids?
A: This isn’t a tracking question but I feel it is an important one. There are no grown ups to me. Just children. So the answer is yes. Understand?
Q: How is the sleigh situation going?
A: Pretty rough. Not too worried about it though.
Q: Dear Santa, Thank you for everything. If you could answer one question, have I been being useful to you as an elf so far? I would appreciate it if you could tell me specifically what more I need to do to be a better elf for you as a tracker elf, an elf educator, or a reindeer therapist?
A: Hi, Elf Ulan. You are an exceptional elf precisely because you ask questions like this. You are extremely helpful to me, especially as you share information about your country and customs. Your voice, as is the voice of every elf, is very important. So keep talking. Keep participating. Keep sharing. Keep asking questions. Your elf supervisor keeps track of your performance. If there are problems you will hear from them. As for me, I’m very happy to have you as an elf, doing all that you do.
Q: Do you remember me?
A: Of course. I remember every believer and every elf, even those who live in California. I think this question comes from a different thing than just one particular person living in one particular place. It comes from being a little older and experiencing Santa different as an adult. Am I right about this? Yes, it changes as you change. But I always remember you. Remember that.
Q: Who is the most amazing elf?
A: Hahaha – trick question! Mrs. Claus is the most amazing elf.
Q: Why do you say “hohoho”?
A: I don’t, actually.
Q: Do you go to all the houses of your believers? Even if they are grown up?
A: I go where I am welcomed and invited. Some don’t want my inside their house and I understand and respect that.
Q: Are you upset when people don’t believe in you or say mean things about you?
A: No, we don’t have time for that.
Q: How much water could we leave out for the Reindeer team?
A: I appreciate this question. Figure on about a cup per reindeer. I want them to stay hydrated but too much water is a problem too. So keep it simple. A cup, no ice. Just water. Thank you!
Q: How do you deliver to boats?
A: Boats are easy. Moving trains, planes and busses are a much bigger challenge. I’m just glad for very athletic reindeer and advanced sleigh technology.
Q: Does Santa still come even while your tracking? Has Santa ever missed homes before and why?
A: I send out bed time advisories from the sleigh. Usually around 8pm to 10pm local time. I expect everyone living in the area of the advisory to do it. Even trackers. That being said, sometimes family traditions and events keep some people up later than that. That’s okay. I try to remember those things and not get there too early. And yes, I’ve missed homes before and had to go back. It happens because I’m not perfect and the information I have is not always up to do. That’s another reason why the work of trackers is so important.
Q: I know you been doing this for years but is it any chance for you to retire and probably have someone else take it over?
A: No. Don’t believe the stuff of silly movies and television shows.
Q: What is the very first thing he does after he gets back to Santa head quarters on Christmas day?
A: Celebrate Christmas with Mrs. Claus.
Q: What if you get hurt on your flight?
A: Good question. We have a number of plans in place to deal with emergencies. We have elves everywhere on Christmas Eve. And I do mean everywhere.
Thank you elves for your questions. If you have more, post them in the comments below.
