Freelance Elves Falling Behind

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A few months ago I made a recommendation that all freelance elves be given a 90-day probationary period before being allowed to join the Elf Community. Since that time we have halted all registrations so that Elf Supervisors can evaluate the effectiveness of freelance elves.

So far this initiative is failing.

After conferring with all Elf Supervisors from every sector it appears, since about 90 days have passed since we started this, that ZERO freelance elves are eligible at the time to become permanent North Pole Elves.

I would also note that we are quickly approaching the deadline for any new freelancers to qualify before Santa takes flight this year.

I’m not sure how Santa feels about this.

Elf Supervisors say that we are getting MORE reports from Freelance Elves than we are from North Pole Elves. However, those reports are lacking in detail and substance.

We believe it will get better. There is a large pool of freelance elves who have worked as freelancers for years. They want to keep it that way. I do not believe this pool of elves has actually shown up yet. I believe we will endure a long period of wanna-be elves who are entirely new to tracking Santa for Santa before we see those experienced freelancers show up.

I would remind you that our goal this year is not a number of elves. It is reports. Good reports. Useful reports. Timely reports.

You – our North Pole Elves of the SantaTrackers.net elf community – are doing an EXCEPTIONAL job. The Elf Supervisors are over the top about the good quality, frequency and substance of your report. In fact, I am hearing that some elf supervisors are not only planning on good reviews for most of you, but also plenty of promotions.

Keep up that good work. It’s getting noticed.

For our freelance elf friends – thank you for your efforts. Please go to Elf University. Learn. Reach out to your elf supervisor. They are there to help. If you really want to be a North Pole Elf and join the great elf community here then do your homework. It’s not hard work. But it is direct, and it is serious, and it is important.

Santa chooses his elves carefully.

I know he would love to see some freelance elves this year rise to the level needed of a real elf.

New Podcast Discusses the Great Sleigh Debate

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Santa Trackers Podcast
Santa Tracker Podcast
New Podcast Discusses the Great Sleigh Debate
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Elf Trixie told us about it a week ago: all kinds of debate is raging about Santa’s Sleigh.

In an all new podcast episode Elves Frank Myrrh and Crash Murphy discusses the great sleigh debate and why it is not really that big of a deal. In fact, Elf Crash says it is hardly news.

This episode comes on the heels of another announcement just made about a change in the sleigh’s design. The next version of the sleigh will begin test flights this next week in Sector 1.

Where is this whole thing going? What does it mean for Santa and Christmas?

And, more importantly, what does it mean for tracker elves?

Give a listen to Frank and Crash to find out.

New Sleigh to Test Over Sector 1

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Santa’s sleigh has been working over the skies of Sector 3, and in recent days, over Sector 2. The test flights in these areas have been productive.

As a result of those flights we can now inform you that yet another new prototype sleigh has been produced and we will transition the sleigh yet again over the next several days.

Version 3, which is what we call the new sleigh prototype, features design tweaks meant to stabilize the sleigh at high speeds. Previous designs revealed stability issues under heavy cargo conditions, a frequent reality in Claus flight on Christmas Eve. We will dispatch test pilots and reindeer to Sector 1 for testing of this new version later this next week.

In addition, under the direction of the North Pole Navy and North Pole Flight Command, the SS Frosty will temporarily reposition to the Tasman Sea to support flight operations while in Sector 1.

We can also report that the operational condition of both the test pilot teams and the reindeer teams is exceptional.

We continue to enjoy the support of tracker elves around the world while the test flight program continues. The coming weeks will see each sector perform reporting in advance of Santa’s flight that are necessary for the success of the mission. We hope all tracker elves worldwide are engaged at this critical time.

Sector 2 Expecting Sleighs in the Skies

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Sector 2 trackers can have their first real chance at seeing sleighs in the skies over the coming few days. I’ve been told by Flight Command that some test flights will be over parts of our sector soon.

This is not expected to be a comprehensive time for us, unlike in recent days in Sector 3. I’m told it will only be three or four days. I have also been told that the flight path will be over “northern areas”, whatever that means.

The weather is supposed to be pretty good for these flights, day and night. The chances for seeing sleighs I’m told are pretty good given that the anticipated altitude will be fairly low.

Please report any sleigh sightings immediately.

Sector 5 Local Christmas Report

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Howdy, Elves!

I have to tell you, I was really disappointed by the two days of sleigh flybys we had. They just ran right through us.

I got a lot of reports of possible sleigh sightings but I got more questions than anything. The test flights have yet to come to our area and stay here for a little while.

I complained about that a little bit to Flight Command. After all, how are you guys supposed to get trained if we don’t get sleighs in the skies here?

Well, I guess they heard me. I got a call from Santa himself.

He said, “Pinky, send your elves out as soon as they can get out to do a Local Christmas Report.”

I love that report. Here’s what you need to know that Santa needs to know:

This is a report about the Christmas Spirit in your area. There are lots of signs that show up before Christmas that the Christmas Spirit is building. You can see it by noticing:

  • Christmas products in advertisements and on store shelves
  • Christmas trees being decorated or even cut down in some places
  • Christmas music on the radio
  • Christmas movies on TV
  • People talking about Christmas
  • Groups rehearsing Christmas plays or concerts

You know all the signs. Is it happening where you live? Maybe or maybe not. After all, we’re four months away still.

Either way, Santa wants to know what you see and what your think.

Let’s give him a good report before September 15th. He’ll probably want this report a time or two more before Christmas.

 

Chimney Inspections Needed

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Yes, it might seem a little early. But that is part of the point this year in our new reporting standards.

I am asking all elves in Sector 2 to begin chimney inspections now. Please visit this link to file your report.

Why now?

Well, first of all, most chimneys are not going to change much between now and when Santa gets there on Christmas Eve. Plus, the weather is good in most areas right now and doing an inspection should be easier. Without snow or other obstructions you should be able to easily see everything you need to see.

DO NOT get on the roof or on a ladder to do a chimney inspection. Doing so may void your contract as an elf. Santa forbids it.

You must do your inspection from the ground. If you have concerns please take pictures and send in a photo report.

Another good thing about doing chimney inspections now is that it give us time. If a close-up picture or inspection of a chimney is needed then we have time to send an elf team down from the North Pole for a closer look.

We need all elves in Sector 2 to inspect as many chimneys in their neighborhoods as they can BEFORE October 15th.

We realize that not every home has a chimney, especially in southern areas of our sector. That doesn’t matter. Don’t report on a home without a chimney. Just look for all the chimneys close to you that you can find and report on them.

Questions? Feel free to ask them in the comment area below.

Sector 3 Gets First Visits of Santa’s Sleigh

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The test flights of the newest version of Santa’s sleigh have arrived in Sector 3. I have just been notified by North Pole Flight Command that these flights will be in our sector for “the next several days”.

This is the first flight action in Sector 3 this year. I hope it is an opportunity for us.

Therefore, as a first request, I am asking all trackers in Sector 3 to send in a weather report as soon as possible.

Some elves have contacted me about sleigh sightings report. And the answer is yes, if you spot a sleigh please report it at once. If you can get a picture, please do so.

While we have some reports we will want in time, I’m awaiting direction for Flight Command before asking you for them.

Once I know more, I will let you know.

Please enjoy “the next several days” and stand ready for any new requests that they might give us.

Murmurs about Santa’s Sleigh

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It has been an interesting week since the sleigh crash in the South Pacific. Murmurs about Santa’s sleigh have been everywhere since.

I suppose it is human nature to cast blame. At first, everyone was in shock – and worried about the well being of the pilot and the reindeer. But once it was found they were okay then the blame game started.

From what I can tell, it started in the Department of Redundancy Department. They’ve been worried about Santa’s sleigh all year and without their warning last spring we would not even be doing the test flights of Santa’s sleigh right now.

But those are not happy elves over at the DRD.

I won’t mention any names. I won’t tell you who the test pilot was and I won’t tell you the names of the elves I spoke to at DRD and NPFC. The reason I won’t is very simple. I don’t want anyone to get in trouble.

This post is nothing but trouble.

You see, my contact in the DRD says the whole design idea for this year’s sleigh is a bad idea and that it needs to be scrapped. Right now.

Well, that’s impossible. It is late August. It is just too late in the year to start all over on a new design plan. Santa signed off on this plan.

That is a process that usually wraps up in February. Construction on new designs usually starts around April and test flights begin in May. They continue all summer and new design tweaks come out usually every two to four weeks during the test flight phase.

Each year there are usually up to 15 generations or versions of a sleigh’s design before the bells are put on and Santa takes off in it.

We blew that scheduled timeline way back when it was decided that last year’s design was good enough and we didn’t need to do as much to test it.

That is exactly what one of my friends in Flight Command says. “This sleigh was nearly perfect last year,” he said, “And the Department of Redundancy Department even admits that. It’s a good plan. It’s a good sleigh.”

But it’s not.

The test pilot who crashed last week said there’s something really wrong with this year’s sleigh. He said he’s not a sleigh designer. But as a pilot he says he can feel there is something “off” when he flies the sleigh.

As a test pilot, he runs all kinds of numbers on his flights – even numbers they don’t track in Flight Command.

“I have a theory,” the test pilot told me. “I think the drag coefficient is completely off. I flew the test flights last year and I kept those logs. I know what the numbers should be and they are not the same this year. I’m sure if they took a look at that coefficient for the 11 other sleighs they would find that what I am saying is true.”

How true?

Today – the 22nd of August – the remaining sleighs are in transit from the Indian Ocean to somewhere over Sector 5. Our test pilot said that if he did his math right the sleighs would arrive in San Diego at one specific time.

I checked. He was dead on right. The sleighs got there within a minute of when he said they would.

But here’s the kicker: he said that if things were right with those sleighs, given the speed at which they move on a high-profile transition journey like this, especially in tandem style like they are, then they should have arrived in San Diego 47 minutes earlier.

That math is too beyond me, kids.

But I checked out his numbers with Elf Buck, Elf Roger and even Elf Flip – all numbers guys and all expert pilots (except for Flip).

Guess what? The numbers check out.

But it’s not just the guy who survived the crash who is looking at things sideways now when it comes to Santa’s sleigh this year.

There is a growing division of sleigh naysayers in North Pole Flight Command. In fact, I hear the discussions there are getting quite heated.

But at the end of the day, even if minds came together between Flight Command, the test pilots, the DRD, and the Research and Development Department who designed this sleigh in the first place, it doesn’t matter.

Either they get this sleigh figured out in the next 100 days or so – or Santa is going to have to fly something else.

Right now the tide is rising against this year’s sleigh.

The current test flights are going to end at the North Pole in a day or two. These 11 sleighs will be retired and 12 shiny new sleigh prototypes are going to take to the skies somewhere. And it seems everyone will be holding their breath.

Because a lot of elves right now have no faith in the design, even if it is corrected. The murmurs are only going to grow louder.

I’ll keep you posted.

Elf Trixie

Sector 4 Alerted AGAIN!

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Trackers of Sector 4: North Pole Flight Command has just informed the Regional Tracking Center here in Milagro, Ecuador to expect sleighs over our skies very soon.

This is a legitimate alert.

I am awaiting some kind of official announcement from North Pole Flight Command that test flights are resuming. But I have not seen it yet.

Earlier this week we were advised that Flight Command would not keep the test flights grounded long. I was expecting maybe things would pick up again on Monday or Tuesday. Now I think that has all been pushed up.

Since the sleighs are fairly close to us in the South Pacific, I want us to be ready TODAY for anything to happen.

And please keep on eye on North Pole Flight Command for an announcement. It has to be coming soon.

Alert for Sector 1

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Hi elves! North Pole Flight Command has just issued an alert for Sector 1 – we are about to have visitors.

I have seen the alert from Sector 2. I am hearing via the Elf Supervisor channel of other alerts. North Pole Flight Command is up to something.

We have been told to specifically watch the skies over Wiseman’s Creek, that this will be a big opportunity for our Regional Tracking Center. But we are also aware that other areas of Sector 1 may soon see sleighs in the skies as well.

Let’s be ready.

I’m not sure what exactly is happening or why, but this looks a legitimate news maker.

Sector 3 Now on Alert

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Elves – I have news from Flight Command: Sector 3 is now on high alert.

North Pole Flight Command just messaged me that the first sleigh flights over our sector will be happening very soon. How soon? They aren’t specific. And they haven’t officially announced the resumption of test flights. But this alert is the real deal – it came through official channels and was coded perfectly. This is happening, whatever THIS is.

Sector 3 has not had any kind of reporting opportunity yet this season. I think this alert changes things.

As such, I’m asking all active elves to please file a weather report as soon as you can.

Also, be prepared to submit a sleigh sighting report if you see a sleigh.

Due to the serious tone of this alert I’ve gone to 24-hour monitoring here at the Regional Tracking Center here in Bethlehem, South Africa. All elves here will be working double shifts until we know the activity in our sector has ceased.

I will keep you posted.

Slow Sleighs Over Sector 5 Soon

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Hey gang – I just got a weird update from North Pole Flight Command. We have officially been put on alert. It says:

“Sector 5 will soon have slow moving, low flying sleighs in flight. This presents an excellent opportunity for tracker elves to view sleighs in flight. We do not presently have a precise timetable for this event. It will happen quickly. Advise all eyes on the Santa Tracking Map.”

That’s it, for now. When I know more you will know more.

We do have an open request for weather forecasts, specifically for August 23rd and August 24th. Maybe this is why they want the weather updates.

In any event, we should be seeing our first real opportunity of the season.

Keep an eye on North Pole Flight Command, too. They may be making an announcement soon.