Elf Agent X is head of North Pole Security. In this chat Elf Agent X talks about the things people do to kidnap Santa, the current search for Santa while he is on walkabout and what to do if you actually find Santa. This is was surprising and informative chat. Here is the transcript:
| Elf Max | I’m glad you’re leading this chat, Elf Frank |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Why? Because getting answers from Elf Agent X is so fun? |
| Elf Ulan | Yeah, it’s a very long time no see, lol! |
| Elf Max | Yes, exactly. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | I’ll do my best |
| Elf Max | I just hope I don’t ask a question he doesn’t like |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | He’s always nice, Max |
| Elf Max | Yes, he is. But when he doesn’t want to answer something he tells you! |
| Elf Ulan | Please tell me is there any questions I can not ask? |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | You can ask anything you want, Elf Ulan. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Elf Agent X just takes his job seriously. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | He’s a good elf |
| Elf Ulan | Really? Aww, thank you. I believe you! |
| Elf Max | Ok. I do have questions for him |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Great! |
| Elf Ulan | Is it a holiday there? |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | At the North Pole? No. |
| Elf Max | It is Independence Day in the United States. Many elves told me they could not be here today because of that. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Oh, I forgot about that. |
| Agent X | Hello! One minute to spare |
| Elf Ulan | Okay, how many holidays do you have there? |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | You’re right on time, Agent X. Welcome! |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | We make up holidays every week at the North Pole, it seems |
| Agent X | Glad to be here. |
| Elf Ulan | Hello, Elf Agent X! Nice to meet you! |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Today we’re chatting with Elf Agent X, head of North Pole Security. |
| Agent X | Hello, Elf Ulan! |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Agent X, this is kind of a rare opportunity. It’s nice to have you here to talk things over a bit. |
| Agent X | We are always happy to do this, Frank. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Everyone earlier was talking about asking a wrong question to you |
| Agent X | Really? Why? I don’t think there are wrong questions. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | I think there is some mystery about what you do |
| Agent X | Our job is to keep Santa safe. To keep the North Pole safe. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Does Santa get a lot of threats? Is he in danger? |
| Agent X | No, Santa is not in danger. He is just one of the most famous people in the world. So we watch out for him. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | What are some of the things you worry about when it comes to Santa’s safety? |
| Agent X | Kidnapping is a constant threat. We find that people do not want to harm Santa so much as they just want to be with him. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Why do you think that is? |
| Agent X | Well, he’s Santa. He’d be very popular at a Christmas party. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Is that real? Do a lot of people want to seriously take Santa and use his time just for themselves? |
| Agent X | Yes. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | That’s just crazy to me. |
| Agent X | Agreed. |
| Elf Max | Agent X, this is Elf Max |
| Agent X | Hi Max |
| Elf Max | Is this happening only at Christmas? |
| Agent X | Mostly, yes. |
| Elf Max | Does it come from the same place? |
| Agent X | It comes from all over. It’s not uncommon. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Has anyone actually tried to do something – you know, besides making threats? |
| Agent X | Yes, for years there was a group led by a guy in a town in Sector 5. In Maine. They tried every Christmas Eve to capture Santa |
| Elf Max | How did they try? |
| Agent X | The set up elaborate schemes. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Such as….? |
| Agent X | Giant nets. |
| Agent X | Reindeer tie downs |
| Agent X | Once they tried to get Santa arrested by the local police department |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Wow. Did that happen? |
| Agent X | No. The Police Chief didn’t want an empty stocking. |
| Elf Max | Hahaha. Smart cop. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Agent X, the search for Santa right now seems to be occupying a lot of your time. |
| Agent X | Yes, this is one of Santa’s big things right now. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | What’s is the current situation. Do we have any clues? |
| Agent X | We have LOTS of clues. In fact too many clues |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | What do you mean? |
| Agent X | They are coming from all over the world. It is difficult to follow up on them all. |
| Elf Max | So you’re getting lots of pictures and feedback? |
| Agent X | Yes |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | So where do you think Santa is? |
| Agent X | Right now, honestly, we do not have a solid lead |
| Elf Max | I thought he was in Sector 3 |
| Agent X | Yes, someone said that on the radio or something. But we don’t really know |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | That might be my fault. |
| Agent X | No, not your fault, Elf Frank. |
| Elf Max | Agent X, are you frustrated? |
| Agent X | No, I love this actually |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Does Santa do this kind of thing often? |
| Agent X | This is the biggest challenge he has ever given us, Frank. He does little things from time to time to train us. He asks us things all the time that we have work to learn. But nothing ever like this. This is new. |
| Elf Max | What happens if you do find him? |
| Agent X | THAT is a really good question. |
| Agent X | Hahaha. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | that isn’t part of the game? |
| Agent X | No and it isn’t something I really thought about. What do you think we should do if we find him? |
| Elf Max | KIDNAP HIM! |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | NO! Lol |
| Agent X | Hahaha. That would be rich. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | What would you do if YOU found him, Elf Sugar Cookie? |
| Agent X | Excellent question, Frank. |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | Me? That’s a good question. I don’t know what I’d do besides alert you guys. |
| Elf Max | I would want to prove to the world that I found Santa. |
| Agent X | How would you prove that? |
| Elf Max | Take a picture or a video. |
| Elf Ulan | You should ask the question, Elf sugar Cookie! |
| Agent X | Those can be faked these days. We get them all the time |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | You get fake pictures and video |
| Agent X | Yes, they can be quite funny |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | Oh, that’s right, Elf Ulan. The question is ‘how is Operation Merry Christmas going?” Right? |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Really? How? |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | Actually, that leads me to another question. How do you know if you’re meeting Santa or just a good impersonator? |
| Agent X | The question about Operation Merry Christmas is more appropriate for Mrs. Claus or Elf Ernest or maybe Elf Bernard. I’m just security. |
| Elf Ulan | That’s right! I’ll ask him too! The next maybe… |
| Agent X | Last year we got a video of a guy who looked like Santa. He was tied up. They wanted money to free him. But they didn’t know one thing |
| Agent X | Ask anything you want, Elf Ulan |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | What didn’t they know? |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | I know, Elf Agent X. I think Elf Ulan was referring to a question someone on here said we could ask Santa to know if it was him or not. |
| Agent X | They didn’t know that Santa was sitting right there when we opened the video |
| Elf Max | Hahaha – that’s funny. |
| Agent X | Santa is never going to lie. |
| Agent X | If you catch Santa and ask him if he’s Santa, he will tell the truth. |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | Couldn’t someone lie about being Santa? |
| Elf Max | For some reason, I really want to catch Santa now |
| Agent X | Of course they will lie about being Santa. It happens all the time. |
| Elf Ulan | Elf Agent X, I posted a picture in the Elf Wall. Please check about the man is similar to Santa or different, he’s taller than the man. |
| Agent X | But let me ask you this, Elf Sugar Cookie. |
| Agent X | If you thought you caught Santa, what kind of questions would you ask him to validate that he is Santa? |
| Agent X | Elf Ulan. Thank you for that picture. No, that’s not Santa. Santa is taller. He is built…differently. Santa is actually very fit. |
| Elf Ulan | (I know it!) |
| Agent X | There are so many men out there who people think looks like Santa. |
| Elf Ulan | (to Elf Sugar Cookie) |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | I’m not sure yet, honestly. i think I would be embarrassed if I, a grown woman, asked a stranger if he was Santa and he turned out not to be. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I was making fun of them, even though I would be genuinely asking. |
| Agent X | You’re an Elf, Sugar Cookie. Don’t you think you would have a feeling if you were in front of Santa? |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | I see Santa I think more than most elves. I would recognize him in an instant. |
| Agent X | Yes, Frank |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | Yes, sir, I think (I hope) I would. |
| Agent X | I know you would, Elf Sugar Cookie. You’re a GREAT elf. You’d feel it. So what would you ask him? |
| Elf Ulan | Thank you, Elf Agent X. Okay Santa is taller than him and more nicer! |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Is Santa so disguised that even I would not recognize him? |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | Thank you so much. I would probably ask how the walkabout is going. An impersonator probably wouldn’t know what to make of that. |
| Agent X | I can’t answer that, Elf Frank. |
| Agent X | Right Elf Sugar Cookie. Think about all you know that the average person would not know. Santa would recognize you before you recognize him. But he will answer your questions and I guarantee you the questions you ask will be different from an average person. |
| Elf Ulan | Did you talk to Elf Winslow about the last walkabout? |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | Wow, he would recognize me? |
| Agent X | Yes, we have interviewed Elf Winslow several times. He has been most helpful. |
| Agent X | Yes, Santa would definitely recognize ALL of you. He knows you well. He’s Santa. |
| Elf Max | Agent X, are you of the same opinion as Elf Crash – that Santa will NOT be caught? |
| Elf Ulan | I think so that, Elf Sugar Cookie! |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | That’s amazing to hear; thank you! |
| Agent X | No, I disagree with Elf Crash. We are going to find him. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Then you better decide what to do with him once you do! |
| Elf Ulan | Even me? |
| Agent X | It would be ironic to catch him, wouldn’t*t? |
| Agent X | Yes, Elf Ulan. Santa knows you. I guarantee it. |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | Yes, he would definitely recognize you, Elf Ulan! |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | If you or some other elf or department finds Santa you will have to prove to the world you did it. |
| Agent X | I think we will have to meet to discuss this, Frank. Very good point. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Elf Harriet, in Wrapping, says she can catch Santa within a week or two. Do you believe her? |
| Elf Ulan | Really? It’s incredible and amazing! |
| Agent X | Elf Harriet is one very tenacious elf. Yes, it’s possible she could do it. I believe her. Never count her out. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Have you spoken to her? |
| Agent X | No, since your radio interview the other day with her she has disappeared. |
| Elf Max | Wait – what? |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | What do you mean she has disappeared? |
| Agent X | She’s gone. She left. She took a team of elves and they are out searching for Santa. |
| Elf Ulan | What!? |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | Wow!! |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | No way. |
| Agent X | I thought everyone knew that. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | No, she just told me the Wrapping Department could find him within a week or two. She didn’t tell me how. |
| Elf Ulan | But she is the head of the wrapping department, right? |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | This would be a great news story, Elf Frank! |
| Agent X | They’re out looking. |
| Elf Max | Yes, she’s head of wrapping. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | She told you she left? |
| Agent X | Yes, she called me and said she’d be back soon with Santa |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | What did you tell her? |
| Agent X | I told her “Fat chance” |
| Elf Max | Hahaha!!! |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Did she tell you where they were going? |
| Agent X | No |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | I hope she finds him; that would be remarkable. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | How many elves did she take with her? |
| Agent X | I don’t know |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Did she say…how she would find him and what she would do if she did find him? |
| Agent X | Nope. |
| Elf Ulan | (I’m confused, is she with Santa now?) |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Have you heard from her? |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | No, Elf Ulan, but I think she’s trying to find him. |
| Agent X | Not at all. |
| Agent X | To my knowledge, they have not found him yet. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Do you know where she is looking? |
| Elf Ulan | Oh, thank you! |
| Agent X | Yes, I know |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | How do you know? |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | You’re welcome! |
| Agent X | I can’t tell you that |
| Elf Max | Hahaha – I knew someone was going to get that answer |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | So do you think she is close to Santa? |
| Agent X | I have no reason to think that |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Wow, this IS a story. |
| Elf Ulan | I think if we can guess what Santa is interested in now, we can find around the places!? |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | I’m gonna call her |
| Agent X | I’m not sure she’ll take your call. She won’t take mine. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Why not? |
| Elf Ulan | I guess she knows it… |
| Agent X | Because she doesn’t want anyone to know what she’s doing. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | How is she going to prove she found him? |
| Agent X | I don’t know. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | But you don’t think the Wrapping Department will be successful? |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | Good idea, Elf Ulan! |
| Agent X | Never count Harriet out. But I don’t think they have information or skills that other elves don’t have. Santa’s on the run and he’s outsmarting everyone so far. |
| Elf Ulan | Thank you, Elf Sugar Cookie! |
| Agent X | Yes, Elf Ulan. Good thinking. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Folks, I’m sorry. We’re over time with Agent X. Any last questions. |
| Elf Max | I have more questions than ever! |
| Elf Ulan | Thank you, Elf Agent X! |
| Agent X | Good. That means I’m doing my job. |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | Does anyone know where Santa is for safety reasons but won’t tell anyone else? Or is he completely on his own? |
| Agent X | Santa is completely on his own. I believe he and Mrs. Claus have some way of emergency contact. But don’t quote me on that. It’s just a theory I have. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Well, what if there is an emergency? |
| Agent X | We will just have to put on our big elf boots and deal with it, I suppose. |
| Elf Max | Golly |
| Elf Ulan | Do you think Santa bought some hats this time? Lol |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Great chat, Agent X. Thank you for all you have shared today |
| Agent X | I think Santa is a man of many different looks. |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | Thank you so much, everyone! This has been a great chat! |
| Elf Max | Yes, thank you Elf Agent X |
| Agent X | Thank you all for your efforts. We’ll find Santa! |
| Elf Ulan | Thank you, Elf Agent X! |
| Agent X | Bye everyone |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Thanks Agent X. |
| Elf Sugar Cookie | Goodbye! |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | And thank you everyone for being here. This was great! |
Thank you, Elf Winslow! Thank you, Elves Agent X, Frank, Max, and Elf Sugar Cookie! I was so happy to be there with them. It was exciting and great, and I learned how much Elf Agent X and the elves protect Santa and the North Pole more than I thought. Elf Agent X is very kind, fun, and cool! Thank you always for watching over Santa and us. I missed asking him what his favorite Christmas song to sing then, lol. I wish I would see him in the chat again! XD
(And I appreciate understanding what I was saying, Elf Sugar Cookie, and you all! XD)