Sleigh Boys Doubtful of Santa’s Sleigh

Ok, I’ve delayed this post long enough. The test pilots of Santa’s sleigh held a group lunch during the Halloween weekend break. I was there. I heard a lot about Santa’s sleigh.

I was asked by several to not share what I learned.

But I cannot stay silent any longer. This is not only news it is at the very heart of Operation Merry Christmas.

At the luncheon the test pilots were placing bets and all of them – every single one of them – bet against the new sleigh being used this year by Santa. They are so convincing their arguments that a crew from the sleigh shop is secretly preparing Santa’s sleigh used last year for service on Christmas Eve.

When North Pole Flight Command announced that version 7 of the sleigh would be tested in Sector 1 there was some kind of meeting between pilots and designers. The overwhelming feedback from the test pilots was that Version 7 of Santa’s Sleigh was “10,000 times worse” than Version 6.

I just learned today that Version 8, currently being flown in Sector 3, now has bigger problems than Version 7.

One brave elf – who I will not name – told me by phone today from Sector 3 “these sleighs are getting worse, not better – and I have never seen that in more than 40 years of test flight experience”.

Santa’s sleigh is in trouble, kids.

I have gone through all North Pole news reports from previous seasons. I can find no reports of test flights ever being in trouble.

I tried to get into Flight Command to examine flight logs of previous test flights. Of course, I was denied access to that information.

But, I have friends at North Pole Flight Command. And they have told me that if I were to get access to the logs I would not find anything – EVER – in the history of test flights that compares to what is going on this year with Santa’s sleigh.

So — I took all this to Santa.

After all, Agent X was calling my cell phone after I tried to go to Flight Command. I got a nervous call from Elf Roger Star and then I got one from my editor, Elf Harold Star (no, they aren’t related, Star is a big family name in the history of the North Pole but apparently these two aren’t even distant cousins. Go figger).

Anyways.

Santa, who is leaving the North Pole tomorrow and won’t really be back until Thanksgiving, told me to relax.

Santa says he trusts those who plan, design, build and test the sleigh.

He says he will not intervene in their process until he needs to. And he told me in his regular meetings with the Research and Development team of designers and test pilots who report to him that they have been forth-coming about the challenges with this year’s sleigh.

Santa, as is his way, says he has absolutely no concerns.

But every elf I talk to about this sleigh thing says the same thing:

This thing will never fly for Santa.

Will the sleigh designers keep churning out new versions in an effort to improve the sleigh or will they just scrap it?

Will Santa accept an inferior sleigh to fly on Christmas Eve? Can an old sleigh be pressed in to service? Has that ever been done before?

What, if anything, does this mean for tracking Santa this year?

Stay tuned.

About this Elf: Elf Trixie

Elf Trixie is now Chief of Staff to Mrs. Claus, a position she took on originally in 2023. She previously worked in the Public Relations Department at the North Pole as an intern. She was one of the youngest elves on staff in the News Department. She keeps the weekly countdown going at SantaUpdate.com and frequently assists Mrs. Claus in her publishing efforts. Trixie is a Journalism major at Southern North Pole University and has recently accepted additional writing duties as a staff reporter at the Santa Tracker Herald Star. Trixie is single, she has a pet gerbil named Pebbles, and recently adopted her own baby reindeer named Trixie.