Greetings from Iceland, where we are wrapping up the Elf Supervisor annual meetings. Elf Crash Murphy has just dismissed the proceedings and the Elf Supervisors are now on their way to their home base in their assigned sectors.

That is where they will remain until Santa returns home from the North Pole after his Christmas flight around the world.

It does not have to be this way. The Elf Supervisors could all do their jobs without having to be at their Regional Tracking Center all the time. They could go home to the North Pole, or wherever home is for each of them, on weekends and such but they all refuse to do so. Within the micro culture of Elf Supervisor there is a belief – a superstition – that they can’t go home until Santa heads home.

Elves are superstitious about a lot of things.

Take, for example, the elves working the test flights of Santa’s sleigh. Right now, those elves refuse to talk to any of the North Pole media.

Why?

Because the proposed sleigh design for Santa this year is doing so very well.

There’s almost no news to report about the sleigh. And that’s news. But I can tell you all the reporters we have sent over to Flight Command to get information about the test flights and how they are going are running into a stone wall. There isn’t an elf over there who will talk about it.

Not a single sleigh traffic controller, sleigh designer, or test pilot will give an interview. None of the reindeer handlers, or the sleigh builders or the map elves or even the leadership in the Sleigh Department will talk about Santa’s new sleigh.

They believe, if they do talk about Santa’s new sleigh, things will stop going so well.

You see – and I’m NOT superstitious – Santa’s sleigh has been perfect so far this year. It has passed every test. They are setting records with it in every way. In good weather and in bad, this sleigh is proving to be a winner.

Do you recall last year where it seemed a new version of the sleigh came out every couple of weeks, right up until Christmas?

None of that is going on this year. They are on Version 2 and that’s only because Version 1 of the sleigh needed to be painted a different color.

They just can’t find anything wrong with it. Santa’s instructions, every year, is to keep flying the sleigh until it’s perfect. Keep fixing it and making it faster. That’s what Santa wants.

But right now I can tell you we’re not seeing a new version of the sleigh because they can’t find anything wrong with it. It just gets better and better the more the fly it.

During the Elf Supervisor meeting this week they had one of the 12 sleighs here in Iceland to give all of us a demonstration. Only six total reindeer were pulling that sleigh. In the demo the sleigh set a speed record.

Since I was the only news elf there I wanted to post a news story about that on SantaUpdate.com.

I talked to the team sent to supervise that flight. I talked to the crew of the Mistletoe, the ship from the North Pole Navy assigned to monitor the flight. I talked to the guys from Flight Command on the radio tracking the flight. Not a single one of those elves wanted to be quoted talking about that flight.

Why? Because they don’t want to jinx things. Things are going so well there isn’t an elf involved with the sleigh project who will talk to the News Department because they believe if they do somehow, magically, the sleigh will stop performing so well.

What does all this superstition really mean?

It means that elves, in our most pure sense, really want to do well. We want Santa to succeed. We want our part of Operation Merry Christmas to NOT be the part that holds Santa back or, heaven forbid, causes Santa to fail.

So we get careful about things when things are going well. I would tell you this is true in every department at the North Pole, not just the elves working on Santa’s sleigh.

Some of us – a few of us, actually – do not buy into this line of thinking. I’m proud to say I mess up all the time.

But, I understand why I can think that way and an elf working on Santa’s sleigh can’t.

If I mess up delivering the news, what do I hurt? If I make a punctuation error, spell someone’s name wrong or provide a news detail that is false does it affect Santa or Operation Merry Christmas?

Nah. There’s no need for me to be superstitious.

Santa, if he could see all this in the sleigh elves right now, likely would not be happy. People who are superstitious can sometimes put too much pressure on themselves. And that will cause other problems, especially problems that aren’t necessary.

For example, I know for a fact that Elf Morty has a rash right now.

Morty is what they call a “body man”, his elf specialty being the construction, repair and painting of the sleigh body. He’s highly skilled. His job with the sleigh varies through out the year and it is basically a job where that sleigh is made to look perfect at all time in all weather. He builds, he molds, he polishes and then he washes and waxes and shines that sleigh to no end.

And the poor guy is falling apart right now.

Every time one of those test sleighs head out on a flight he’s a nervous wreck. He anxiously watches the web cam on the sleigh, follows the weather it is flying through, and he’s there with his tools, his polisher, his rags and his “shine team” for the moment that sleigh is parked. Its like he’s expecting a baby every time it flies.

And now he’s got a rash. That is caused by stress and worry. And I’ll tell you right now that if Santa knew about it he’d send Morty to see Elf Dr. Lionel at the North Pole Medical Center.

Of course, Santa’s going to read this. Santa might be away from the North Pole but he’s well aware of what we’re all doing. Somehow. That’s just the way it is.

So Morty, pack your bags. It’s time to do something about that rash.

But none of this would be necessary if it were not for superstitions. To be superstitious is to believe in something that maybe not be real. That’s a dangerous business when you work for Santa.

So Santa will be right to send Morty to get some help. It is best that we are all healthy as we take care of the business of Christmas.

What about you? And what about your Elf Supervisor? Do you follow superstitious routines?

I hope not. Your Elf Supervisor is about to connect with you. They have some very detailed plans for this year.

But things can go off the rails pretty quick unless we remained focused and confident.

Our work as tracker elves – and believe me, come Christmas Eve we’re all tracker elves – is not for the feint of heart or the superstitious.

So let’s be calm. Let’s be confident.

And let’s all bring our lucky rabbit’s foot.

Hi there. Elf Ed Zachary here.

Where to begin?

A couple of weeks ago I was called into Elf Ernest’s office. Like many other elves right now I was offered a promotion.

Part of my new gig in the News Department is figuring out how to deal with this little column here on SantaTrackers.net.

This “rumors” thing was founded by Elf Trixie a couple of years ago and I know she enjoyed spreading the gossip of the North Pole here on these pages.

Actually, she cheezed off a lot of elves with this column. If I had any brains at all I’d just shut it down.

But I like cheese, too.

If elves at the North Pole turn and run the other way at my mere presence that can’t be a bad thing, right?

So, yeah. I think I’ll take this gig for myself.

But I’ve got to do it my way.

I’m a news guy. I actually went to school to be a journalist. I operate by the rules of who-what-when-where when it comes to news reporting.

Even if it is a rumor column.

So let’s get this fixed here the right way. If I print a rumor here is how I’m going to do it:

Rumor: rumors will now be identified as rumors, not fact. Like this.

I’m renaming this from North Pole Rumors to The Scoop.

And that’s because I don’t want to just dish dirt on people. I’m a hard news guy and if I’m going to talk smack I want to make sure it’s news and not only rumor.

So this column – now to be called The Scoop – will be more news than rumor.

I will still put out rumors now and then — when I hear them. But it’s not my specialty, you know what I’m saying?

I don’t want to get into the game of making stuff up. I’m not saying that was done before but what good are rumors if they don’t become news?

So what news or rumors can I impart on you right now?

Fact: Santa has still not checked in with the North Pole since leaving on walkabout.

Rumor: some are saying Santa is in Asia.

How do I know that?

Well, there’s an elf I know. I’ll call her Elf Busybody. You don’t need to know her real name.

She’s on vacation. She knows Santa. She swears she saw Santa in Taiwan at a fish market.

I kid you not.

Ok, so that’s not the world’s hottest rumor.

And it likely isn’t very reliable because I don’t think Santa would be caught dead in a fish market. Santa is a master fisherman and I know when he goes on walkabout he loves to fish nearly everywhere his travels take him.

So I don’t put a lot of stock in this rumor.

Santa’s more inclined to be seen in a sack of potatoes than at a fish market.

But I will leave you with this Scoop:

Elf Moe is soon to get a very big promotion. Mark it down. You heard it here first. It’s a fact.

Ok, I’ve delayed this post long enough. The test pilots of Santa’s sleigh held a group lunch during the Halloween weekend break. I was there. I heard a lot about Santa’s sleigh.

I was asked by several to not share what I learned.

But I cannot stay silent any longer. This is not only news it is at the very heart of Operation Merry Christmas.

At the luncheon the test pilots were placing bets and all of them – every single one of them – bet against the new sleigh being used this year by Santa. They are so convincing their arguments that a crew from the sleigh shop is secretly preparing Santa’s sleigh used last year for service on Christmas Eve.

When North Pole Flight Command announced that version 7 of the sleigh would be tested in Sector 1 there was some kind of meeting between pilots and designers. The overwhelming feedback from the test pilots was that Version 7 of Santa’s Sleigh was “10,000 times worse” than Version 6.

I just learned today that Version 8, currently being flown in Sector 3, now has bigger problems than Version 7.

One brave elf – who I will not name – told me by phone today from Sector 3 “these sleighs are getting worse, not better – and I have never seen that in more than 40 years of test flight experience”.

Santa’s sleigh is in trouble, kids.

I have gone through all North Pole news reports from previous seasons. I can find no reports of test flights ever being in trouble.

I tried to get into Flight Command to examine flight logs of previous test flights. Of course, I was denied access to that information.

But, I have friends at North Pole Flight Command. And they have told me that if I were to get access to the logs I would not find anything – EVER – in the history of test flights that compares to what is going on this year with Santa’s sleigh.

So — I took all this to Santa.

After all, Agent X was calling my cell phone after I tried to go to Flight Command. I got a nervous call from Elf Roger Star and then I got one from my editor, Elf Harold Star (no, they aren’t related, Star is a big family name in the history of the North Pole but apparently these two aren’t even distant cousins. Go figger).

Anyways.

Santa, who is leaving the North Pole tomorrow and won’t really be back until Thanksgiving, told me to relax.

Santa says he trusts those who plan, design, build and test the sleigh.

He says he will not intervene in their process until he needs to. And he told me in his regular meetings with the Research and Development team of designers and test pilots who report to him that they have been forth-coming about the challenges with this year’s sleigh.

Santa, as is his way, says he has absolutely no concerns.

But every elf I talk to about this sleigh thing says the same thing:

This thing will never fly for Santa.

Will the sleigh designers keep churning out new versions in an effort to improve the sleigh or will they just scrap it?

Will Santa accept an inferior sleigh to fly on Christmas Eve? Can an old sleigh be pressed in to service? Has that ever been done before?

What, if anything, does this mean for tracking Santa this year?

Stay tuned.