When Bad News Happens

Years ago I got my start in the news business quite by accident.

I was working in the North Pole Post Office and there we received lots of letters that were not FOR Santa but were ABOUT Santa. They still get these kinds of letters.

They were letters from kids with doubts. Or from people who just didn’t believe. Or from those who just wanted to mock believers or belief in Santa Claus.

One day a particularly nasty letter arrived. I read it and I got mad. So I answered it.

I didn’t realize the letter came from a real reporter for a newspaper in Chicago. He took my letter and published it in the newspaper there.

Santa, of course, heard about it.

And he got upset with me a little bit. Not because I defended him and Christmas but because I used a few choice words that maybe kinda sorta were not nice and that overall I was sort of mean in what I wrote.

But I was mad. And, being a young elf then, there was no way I was going to let Santa be bullied.

Well, long story short, Santa thought I might be a good person to answer the harsh letters that came in. Over the period of a couple of years I was coached by Santa about how to answer those letters. He was always nicer than me in answering letters, that’s for sure.

But as I continued in the work of defending Santa I began to notice something. I noticed that bad letters seemed to follow bad news at the North Pole.

For example, years and years ago, we had to first outbreak of the Bah Humbug virus. This was long before Covid and a hundred times worse. The Bah Humbug virus attacked elves at the North Pole and it not only made them sick and miserable but it caused them to hate Christmas. Talk about a fever.

That Christmas was a tough one as the North Pole fought for months to hold back the virus but nothing worked. Elves began skipping out on work and the entire Santa effort that year was put in jeopardy. That was BAD news.

And sure enough, bad letters came in.

The same thing happened the year of the 6-month long blizzard. Or the year the sleigh wouldn’t fly. Or the year someone kept pranking North Pole departments with things like maple syrup and super glue.

In each instance, bad letters seemed to come on the heels of bad news.

Well, guess what?

I’ve got bad news. Real bad news.

And you guys need to be aware of it. You’re elves. You need to be in the know. Bad news is here, bad news is coming and we all – as elves – need to know what to do about it.

So, first of all, what’s the bad news?

The bad news is the crisis in Santa’s Workshop. You’re going to read a lot about it between now and when Santa flies.

It is going to be a rough ride the next few months.

How did we get here?

Well, to understand you need to know how the world of stuff works. It takes raw materials to make toys. Things like plastic, cardboard, metal, wood, and all kinds of glues, tiny screws and little clips. We make all that stuff here at the North Pole but in order to make those things we have to have plastic, cardboard, metals, and wood.

That stuff is the problem. It has been hard this year to get enough plastic, cardboard, metals and wood.

None of that stuff is at the North Pole. If we could make things out of snow and ice and water, we would be set. But we can’t.

I can tell you right now the letters we are going to get. Many are going to ask, “Why is Santa at the North Pole? If that stuff is so important, why wouldn’t Santa base his workshop where that stuff is?

The answer to that is simple. Plastics come from places like China. Rubber is from places like Thailand. Wood comes from Canada and Brazil and parts of Africa. All of this stuff comes from all over.

The reason Santa is at the North Pole is because it is central to all those places. It is central to everywhere. From the North Pole “everywhere” is south. Santa is at the North Pole not only because it makes him capable of flying anywhere in the world quickly but because it’s easy to ship things to the North Pole than anywhere on earth.

Think about it.

At the end of the day, my sad experience is that people aren’t really going to care for the details we give about the big, bad news story.

They just are scared that Christmas isn’t going to happen. That’s the real problem with bad news. People are scared.

My job – and your job – as elves – is to help people NOT be scared.

And the answer then is this: Santa never fails. Never.

He’s coming. There will be toys. You can take that to the bank.

To help them feel better you don’t need to explain about plastics and supply chains and workshop locations. You need to explain that believing in Santa is all that we need.

That’s it. That’s the answer.

Just believe.

About this Elf: Elf Ed Zachary

Elf Ed Zachary is Director of News at the North Pole. He oversees all North Pole news outlets - newspapers, websites, radio and television stations.

Ed Zachary has been a force in North Pole journalism for decades, having served for years as a columnist for the North Pole Gazette. He is known as the Defender of Santa Claus, taking on all doubters and scoffers of Santa and his Christmas effort.

As part of his news duties Elf Ed Zachary contributes "news about the news" at the North Pole for the Santa Tracker Herald Star.