Stuff We Don’t Talk About

Elf Moe has been on a tear, banning elves almost as fast as they sign up.

They get banned because they don’t really understand what it means to be an elf. We ask them to go to ElfHQ.com to learn the Elf Code and to take the Elf Oath. If they really understand those things they would be more careful here in the world of elves.

Of course, many of them are young. Some are just too excited to be an elf. Some were never meant to be elves in the first place.

To be an elf takes a special kind of person. An elf has two ears and one mouth – and uses them in that proportion.

An elf has to be really smart. They need to read, to learn and to act in a certain way to be an elf. That’s because Santa has standards. Santa didn’t get to become Santa by saying everything that just pops into his head. He had to learn how to talk, to respond and to act to get the reputation he has as Santa.

The same is true of all of us elves. We have to learn that there are things we know as elves and things we should talk about as elves. Even more true are the things we should NOT talk about as elves, too.

For example, Elf of the Shelf. I’ve talked about this plenty of times in the past and I won’t get into it again. You can read about that stuff elsewhere.

But I’ll just say here we, as elves, in this world right here on SantaTrackers.net – we don’t talk about it.

Why? Because it’s a personal matter.

Officially, Santa and the North Pole have nothing to do with personal elves known as Elf on the Shelf. We don’t know where they come from or who manages them. But that’s just one reason why we don’t talk about them.

We don’t talk about them because they are personal.

Not everyone, you see, has a personal elf or an Elf on the Shelf. So not only CAN’T we talk about them officially it’s not nice to talk about them when everyone doesn’t have one. Make sense?

Another thing we don’t talk about are things shared with us from our Elf Supervisor or North Pole Flight Command. You are shared information here because you need to know it as we track Santa for Santa. But the whole world doesn’t need that information.

Think about it. What if you know that Santa is in a certain place and we talk about it here? That’s fine. That’s good. That’s what the community is here for. But you need to be smart before you share that information with someone who hasn’t take the Elf Oath. What if that is someone who doesn’t like Santa or Christmas? What would they do with that information?

You gotta think.

And another thing we stay away from here is talking about other Santa trackers out there like Google or Norad. What’s so bad about them? They’re not bad. They’re just wrong. They don’t work for Santa. They don’t connect with North Pole Flight Command. They use the stuff of the US military and of airline technology to track Santa.

And what’s wrong with that? IT’S WRONG. They don’t have information from Santa to say where Santa is.

We don’t talk about them here because:

1. We don’t want to give anyone wrong information.
2. They aren’t connected with Santa.
3. They frequently give out bad information.

That’s it. So don’t talk about them. Don’t bring them up.

Is it bad that you, as an elf working for Santa, goes to the places to see what they have to say? No, that’s your personal business. But don’t bring what they do HERE and talk like it is the truth, because it isn’t. Keep it to yourself.

What about Santa? Can we as elves talk about Santa?

Of course we can. And we should. Santa is one of the good guys. We realize that even you, an elf, are still learning about Santa. We try to give you the right information about Santa right here from the North Pole. Why wouldn’t we want everyone to know that.

So think, Elf. Think hard before you say things.

You’re an elf now. Santa expects you to be smart.

About this Elf: Elf Ed Zachary

Elf Ed Zachary is Director of News at the North Pole. He oversees all North Pole news outlets - newspapers, websites, radio and television stations.

Ed Zachary has been a force in North Pole journalism for decades, having served for years as a columnist for the North Pole Gazette. He is known as the Defender of Santa Claus, taking on all doubters and scoffers of Santa and his Christmas effort.

As part of his news duties Elf Ed Zachary contributes "news about the news" at the North Pole for the Santa Tracker Herald Star.