Tracking Santa Basics

Elf Crash MurphyPresented by Elf Crash Murphy for the Tracker Elf Conference held on 17 July 2021. Here are some items Crash discussed and disclosed as a result of questions and comments brought up during his presentation:

  • Tracking Santa for Santa is different from how the world tracks Santa
  • Santa’s weight isn’t something elves talk about
  • Tracker elves are expected to heed Santa’s bedtime advisories
  • Crash and Santa talk via radio all during his trip
  • Santa goes through front doors when a house does not have a chimney
  • Support sleighs are nearby in the air to help Santa and/or Elf Crash on Christmas Eve
  • Crash does have a backup to take his place in case something happens to him
  • Riding in a sleigh is difficult and requires training and certification
  • There are elf unions

Chat Transcript:

Elf Max Our first presenter today is Elf Crash Murphy. Crash is Santa’s “eye in the sky reporter”. He follows Santa every Christmas and reports on what he sees. His reports are heard on North Pole Radio News on Kringle Radio.
Elf Max Crash is an expert Santa Tracker. Crash, take it away.
Elf Crash Murphy Hello. Welcome to Tracking Santa Basics.
Elf Crash Murphy The first thing we want you to learn in tracking Santa for Santa is that you do not track Santa like the rest of the world does it. The world tracks Santa by looking at a map and counting down the hours or minutes until Santa get to their house.
Elf Crash Murphy Tracking Santa for Santa is different. You are not waiting for Santa to come. You are HELPING Santa to get there.
Elf Crash Murphy That requires you to have a different frame of mind than the casual Santa tracker
Elf Crash Murphy So, here are the steps to basic tracking of Santa FOR Santa:
Elf Crash Murphy 1. Know what time it is. This is easy. Santa comes after you go to bed.
Elf Crash Murphy 2. Think like Santa. What does he need to worry about in bringing a sleigh and reindeer to your neighborhood?
Elf Crash Murphy 3. Report anything you see or hear of concern to the North Pole.
Elf Crash Murphy 4. When your supervisor says to send in a certain kind of report, do it.
Elf Crash Murphy That’s all there is to it. But, of course, to do this job well, you need to be prepared. How do you do that?
Elf Crash Murphy Come here and read all the training materials
Elf Crash Murphy Look at the reports and know how to fill them out. If you want to practice, talk to your elf supervisor on how to do that.
Elf Crash Murphy What will tracking Santa be like on Christmas Eve? Well, it’s always a different story every year.
Elf Crash Murphy So you have to be ready for anything.
Elf Crash Murphy You can listen to me on the radio. My job is to follow Santa in my own sleigh. I report on North Pole Radio news what I see Santa doing. You can hear that broadcast. We are replaying that broadcast again next week here on SantaTrackers.net so you can hear what it sounds like.
Elf Crash Murphy I will now take your questions.
Elf Flip Beanz Wow, Crash – you did that in 3 minutes
Elf Crash Murphy Thank you
Elf Crash Murphy I am an elf of few words
elf cookie How much does Santa weight and how do you make presents?
Elf Crash Murphy I know that’s really basic information
Elf Crash Murphy Santa’s weight isn’t something elves talk about
Elf Crash Murphy And I don’t make presents. I track Santa.
Elf Crash Murphy Next question.
Elf Buck Sanchez Crash, Buck here.
Elf Lil Cream What would a big concern be that we would report?
Elf Crash Murphy You have a question for ME, Buck?
Elf Crash Murphy Hi Lil Cream
Elf Crash Murphy A big concern can be anything. The first thing that comes to mind is the weather
Elf Crash Murphy If the weather is bad, you should report it
elf cookie What is Santa usual visit time? I want to track him until 12:00 am
Elf Crash Murphy If you hear it is going to be bad, you should report it
Elf Crash Murphy But you’ll be asked to send in certain types of reports
Elf Crash Murphy Reports like a roof report.
Elf Crash Murphy You won’t have to get on a roof
Elf Crash Murphy But if you see something up there that concerns you, report it
Elf Lil Cream ok
Elf Crash Murphy As far as bedtimes go it works the same everywhere
Elf Crash Murphy Santa actually sends out bedtime advisories right from the sleigh
Elf Crash Murphy And those get published at NorthPoleFlightCommand.com
Elf Crash Murphy But I’ll tell you right now that Santa sends those out between 8pm and 9pm local time
Elf Crash Murphy You will not be tracking Santa after bedtime. Tracker Elves go to bed the same time as everyone else
Elf Crash Murphy So if you’re up until midnight doing family stuff
Elf Crash Murphy That’s ok
Elf Crash Murphy Santa works around that stuff
Elf Crash Murphy But I think most are fast asleep before Santa arrives
Elf Crash Murphy Good question!
Elf Buck Sanchez Crash, when you are tracking Santa do you go into homes, too?
Elf Crash Murphy Not on your life, Buck
Elf Crash Murphy You’ll never catch me going down a chimney
Elf Crash Murphy That’s for the pros
Elf Crash Murphy I’m just a little ole tracker elf
Elf Crash Murphy Seriously though
Elf Crash Murphy I don’t have time for that. It’s everything I can do to keep up with Santa.
Elf Crash Murphy The dude is fast like you wouldn’t believe
Elf Flip Beanz Crash, do you and Santa talk when he’s delivering?
Elf Crash Murphy Sometimes. Usually when we are traveling over a long distance, never when houses are too close together
Elf Crash Murphy We talk by radio
Elf Crash Murphy If he needs something, he tells me
Elf Crash Murphy If he gets a report from flight command about a storm or a problem area, he tells me
Elf Flip Beanz Does Santa ever talk on the radio – Kringle Radio – like you do?
Elf Crash Murphy He did a couple of years ago. If you listen to the archives of our past shows you can hear it
Elf Crash Murphy But he’s too busy for that, honestly
Elf Crash Murphy I don’t know how he does all he does. Sometimes he writes notes for people. I don’t know how he has time for that
Elf Max Crash, what about food. I know Santa eats quite a bit because people leave food out for him. What about you?
Elf Crash Murphy I’m glad you brought that up, Max.
Elf Crash Murphy I bring my lunch pail and I load it pretty good
Elf Crash Murphy Twinkies, Doritos, Pork Rinds, maybe a soda
Elf Crash Murphy But that stuff is usually gone by the time I get to Australia
Elf Cookie Dough What does santa do if a house does not have a chimney like my house only a front door
Elf Crash Murphy So I have to find a drive thru open somewhere if I get hungry after that
Elf Lil Cream do u have a favorite place to stop?
Elf Crash Murphy Good question, Cookie Dough. Santa uses more doors than he does chimneys
Elf Crash Murphy A favorite place? Goodness. I love Iceland. It’s an interesting place.
Elf Crash Murphy But I also love China. Good grief, the food they have there. Best Chinese food in the world, I’ll tell ya that
Elf Crash Murphy I like the fish in the Philippines
Elf Crash Murphy Oh…and the pastries in FRANCE…
Elf Crash Murphy That’s heaven right there.
Elf Lil Cream how do u have enough time though to stop and get something to eat?
Elf Crash Murphy It depends on a lot of things. But one little secret I don’t mind telling you
Elf Crash Murphy I have my sleigh where I do my work
Elf Crash Murphy But both Santa and I have a number of support sleighs at our disposal
Elf Crash Murphy Their job is to bring us stuff that we need
Elf Lil Cream cool!
Elf Crash Murphy For Santa, that’s usually things like tools, and maybe copies of wish lists and letters
Elf Crash Murphy But for me, it’s food.
Elf Crash Murphy Occasionally I will go through a drive thru myself
Elf Crash Murphy But that’s late in the flight
Elf Crash Murphy And usually its hard to find a place open
Elf Crash Murphy Sector 5 most of the time
Elf Sandy Claus Crash…do you have  a back up?
Elf Crash Murphy Heck yeah
Elf Crash Murphy There’s like 5 million elves who want my job
Elf Crash Murphy One of the support sleighs carries some elf
Elf Crash Murphy Who’s job is to just be there in case I fall out or something
Elf Crash Murphy I’ll tell you right now I’m never letting that dude on the radio
Elf Lil Cream have u ever fallen out?
Elf Crash Murphy So yeah, there’s a back up
Elf Crash Murphy No, I’ve never fallen out.
Elf Crash Murphy But there have been some moments when I have wanted to jump out
Elf Crash Murphy It gets scary up there sometimes
Elf Sandy Claus Close calls?
Elf Crash Murphy Yeah. Winds are the biggest problem.
Elf Crash Murphy You gotta hang on tight
Elf Crash Murphy An open sleigh is not the most ideal vehicle in bad weather
Elf Sandy Claus Why doesn’t Santa use a closed sleigh? Or you?
Elf Crash Murphy Visibility is really important for both of us
Elf Crash Murphy And for different reasons, too
Elf Crash Murphy I need to see Santa
Elf Crash Murphy All the time
Elf Crash Murphy But Santa needs to see everything
Elf Crash Murphy He lands a lot, I don’t
Elf Buck Sanchez But you have a pilot, do you not?
Elf Crash Murphy Indeed I do. And that’s one guy I take very good care of.
Elf Crash Murphy And I can’t fly a sleigh and report the news at the same time.
Elf Crash Murphy Against regulations
Elf Crash Murphy Plus the union doesn’t like it either.
Elf Lil Cream there’s elf unions?
Elf Sandy Claus It sounds like there are a lot of rules up there
Elf Crash Murphy Oh yes, there are elf unions. They are a royal pain, too. I don’t mind saying that
Elf Crash Murphy Yes, Elf Sandy. There is a lot to know just to BE in a flying sleigh, much less to be a pilot of one
Elf Crash Murphy I have to get re-certified every September
Elf Crash Murphy There’s a written test and a flight test
Elf Crash Murphy Then there’s the Crash test
Elf Sandy Claus Whoa, what’s that?
Elf Crash Murphy It’s a test to see if you can react correctly in case of a crash
Elf Crash Murphy They actually put you in a sleigh and crash it.
Elf Sandy Claus That sounds…dangerous.
Elf Crash Murphy Well, it’s considered training, so they make sure you don’t get hurt
Elf Crash Murphy But they are watching your reactions to see if you have the discipline to be in a flying sleigh
Elf Crash Murphy Not everyone can do it.
Elf Sandy Claus Golly
Elf Crash Murphy Yeah, there’s a lot more to it than people know.
Elf Crash Murphy I guess Santa doesn’t want to tell my mother bad news or something
Elf Sandy Claus I should say not!
Elf Sandy Claus A lot of elves, you know, ask to go in Santa’s sleigh with him.
Elf Crash Murphy Yes, I’m aware
Elf Crash Murphy I get asked it all the time
Elf Crash Murphy I hate to let them down
Elf Crash Murphy But if they knew the certification process alone….
Elf Sandy Claus I actually think that’s a good answer.
Elf Max Folks, we’re needing to wrap up this first session.
Elf Max Crash, thanks for being here.
Elf Crash Murphy My pleasure.
Elf Crash Murphy Can’t wait to hear the rest of it.
Elf Max Will you be available for more questions later?
Elf Crash Murphy I plan on being here as long as I can, yes
Elf Max Great, thanks!
Elf Crash Murphy Thanks everyone!
Elf Lil Cream thank u!