Tracking Santa Basics

Elf Crash MurphyPresented by Elf Crash Murphy for the Tracker Elf Conference held on 17 July 2021. Here are some items Crash discussed and disclosed as a result of questions and comments brought up during his presentation:

  • Tracking Santa for Santa is different from how the world tracks Santa
  • Santa’s weight isn’t something elves talk about
  • Tracker elves are expected to heed Santa’s bedtime advisories
  • Crash and Santa talk via radio all during his trip
  • Santa goes through front doors when a house does not have a chimney
  • Support sleighs are nearby in the air to help Santa and/or Elf Crash on Christmas Eve
  • Crash does have a backup to take his place in case something happens to him
  • Riding in a sleigh is difficult and requires training and certification
  • There are elf unions

Chat Transcript:

Elf MaxOur first presenter today is Elf Crash Murphy. Crash is Santa’s “eye in the sky reporter”. He follows Santa every Christmas and reports on what he sees. His reports are heard on North Pole Radio News on Kringle Radio.
Elf MaxCrash is an expert Santa Tracker. Crash, take it away.
Elf Crash MurphyHello. Welcome to Tracking Santa Basics.
Elf Crash MurphyThe first thing we want you to learn in tracking Santa for Santa is that you do not track Santa like the rest of the world does it. The world tracks Santa by looking at a map and counting down the hours or minutes until Santa get to their house.
Elf Crash MurphyTracking Santa for Santa is different. You are not waiting for Santa to come. You are HELPING Santa to get there.
Elf Crash MurphyThat requires you to have a different frame of mind than the casual Santa tracker
Elf Crash MurphySo, here are the steps to basic tracking of Santa FOR Santa:
Elf Crash Murphy1. Know what time it is. This is easy. Santa comes after you go to bed.
Elf Crash Murphy2. Think like Santa. What does he need to worry about in bringing a sleigh and reindeer to your neighborhood?
Elf Crash Murphy3. Report anything you see or hear of concern to the North Pole.
Elf Crash Murphy4. When your supervisor says to send in a certain kind of report, do it.
Elf Crash MurphyThat’s all there is to it. But, of course, to do this job well, you need to be prepared. How do you do that?
Elf Crash MurphyCome here and read all the training materials
Elf Crash MurphyLook at the reports and know how to fill them out. If you want to practice, talk to your elf supervisor on how to do that.
Elf Crash MurphyWhat will tracking Santa be like on Christmas Eve? Well, it’s always a different story every year.
Elf Crash MurphySo you have to be ready for anything.
Elf Crash MurphyYou can listen to me on the radio. My job is to follow Santa in my own sleigh. I report on North Pole Radio news what I see Santa doing. You can hear that broadcast. We are replaying that broadcast again next week here on SantaTrackers.net so you can hear what it sounds like.
Elf Crash MurphyI will now take your questions.
Elf Flip BeanzWow, Crash – you did that in 3 minutes
Elf Crash MurphyThank you
Elf Crash MurphyI am an elf of few words
elf cookieHow much does Santa weight and how do you make presents?
Elf Crash MurphyI know that’s really basic information
Elf Crash MurphySanta’s weight isn’t something elves talk about
Elf Crash MurphyAnd I don’t make presents. I track Santa.
Elf Crash MurphyNext question.
Elf Buck SanchezCrash, Buck here.
Elf Lil CreamWhat would a big concern be that we would report?
Elf Crash MurphyYou have a question for ME, Buck?
Elf Crash MurphyHi Lil Cream
Elf Crash MurphyA big concern can be anything. The first thing that comes to mind is the weather
Elf Crash MurphyIf the weather is bad, you should report it
elf cookieWhat is Santa usual visit time? I want to track him until 12:00 am
Elf Crash MurphyIf you hear it is going to be bad, you should report it
Elf Crash MurphyBut you’ll be asked to send in certain types of reports
Elf Crash MurphyReports like a roof report.
Elf Crash MurphyYou won’t have to get on a roof
Elf Crash MurphyBut if you see something up there that concerns you, report it
Elf Lil Creamok
Elf Crash MurphyAs far as bedtimes go it works the same everywhere
Elf Crash MurphySanta actually sends out bedtime advisories right from the sleigh
Elf Crash MurphyAnd those get published at NorthPoleFlightCommand.com
Elf Crash MurphyBut I’ll tell you right now that Santa sends those out between 8pm and 9pm local time
Elf Crash MurphyYou will not be tracking Santa after bedtime. Tracker Elves go to bed the same time as everyone else
Elf Crash MurphySo if you’re up until midnight doing family stuff
Elf Crash MurphyThat’s ok
Elf Crash MurphySanta works around that stuff
Elf Crash MurphyBut I think most are fast asleep before Santa arrives
Elf Crash MurphyGood question!
Elf Buck SanchezCrash, when you are tracking Santa do you go into homes, too?
Elf Crash MurphyNot on your life, Buck
Elf Crash MurphyYou’ll never catch me going down a chimney
Elf Crash MurphyThat’s for the pros
Elf Crash MurphyI’m just a little ole tracker elf
Elf Crash MurphySeriously though
Elf Crash MurphyI don’t have time for that. It’s everything I can do to keep up with Santa.
Elf Crash MurphyThe dude is fast like you wouldn’t believe
Elf Flip BeanzCrash, do you and Santa talk when he’s delivering?
Elf Crash MurphySometimes. Usually when we are traveling over a long distance, never when houses are too close together
Elf Crash MurphyWe talk by radio
Elf Crash MurphyIf he needs something, he tells me
Elf Crash MurphyIf he gets a report from flight command about a storm or a problem area, he tells me
Elf Flip BeanzDoes Santa ever talk on the radio – Kringle Radio – like you do?
Elf Crash MurphyHe did a couple of years ago. If you listen to the archives of our past shows you can hear it
Elf Crash MurphyBut he’s too busy for that, honestly
Elf Crash MurphyI don’t know how he does all he does. Sometimes he writes notes for people. I don’t know how he has time for that
Elf MaxCrash, what about food. I know Santa eats quite a bit because people leave food out for him. What about you?
Elf Crash MurphyI’m glad you brought that up, Max.
Elf Crash MurphyI bring my lunch pail and I load it pretty good
Elf Crash MurphyTwinkies, Doritos, Pork Rinds, maybe a soda
Elf Crash MurphyBut that stuff is usually gone by the time I get to Australia
Elf Cookie DoughWhat does santa do if a house does not have a chimney like my house only a front door
Elf Crash MurphySo I have to find a drive thru open somewhere if I get hungry after that
Elf Lil Creamdo u have a favorite place to stop?
Elf Crash MurphyGood question, Cookie Dough. Santa uses more doors than he does chimneys
Elf Crash MurphyA favorite place? Goodness. I love Iceland. It’s an interesting place.
Elf Crash MurphyBut I also love China. Good grief, the food they have there. Best Chinese food in the world, I’ll tell ya that
Elf Crash MurphyI like the fish in the Philippines
Elf Crash MurphyOh…and the pastries in FRANCE…
Elf Crash MurphyThat’s heaven right there.
Elf Lil Creamhow do u have enough time though to stop and get something to eat?
Elf Crash MurphyIt depends on a lot of things. But one little secret I don’t mind telling you
Elf Crash MurphyI have my sleigh where I do my work
Elf Crash MurphyBut both Santa and I have a number of support sleighs at our disposal
Elf Crash MurphyTheir job is to bring us stuff that we need
Elf Lil Creamcool!
Elf Crash MurphyFor Santa, that’s usually things like tools, and maybe copies of wish lists and letters
Elf Crash MurphyBut for me, it’s food.
Elf Crash MurphyOccasionally I will go through a drive thru myself
Elf Crash MurphyBut that’s late in the flight
Elf Crash MurphyAnd usually its hard to find a place open
Elf Crash MurphySector 5 most of the time
Elf Sandy ClausCrash…do you have  a back up?
Elf Crash MurphyHeck yeah
Elf Crash MurphyThere’s like 5 million elves who want my job
Elf Crash MurphyOne of the support sleighs carries some elf
Elf Crash MurphyWho’s job is to just be there in case I fall out or something
Elf Crash MurphyI’ll tell you right now I’m never letting that dude on the radio
Elf Lil Creamhave u ever fallen out?
Elf Crash MurphySo yeah, there’s a back up
Elf Crash MurphyNo, I’ve never fallen out.
Elf Crash MurphyBut there have been some moments when I have wanted to jump out
Elf Crash MurphyIt gets scary up there sometimes
Elf Sandy ClausClose calls?
Elf Crash MurphyYeah. Winds are the biggest problem.
Elf Crash MurphyYou gotta hang on tight
Elf Crash MurphyAn open sleigh is not the most ideal vehicle in bad weather
Elf Sandy ClausWhy doesn’t Santa use a closed sleigh? Or you?
Elf Crash MurphyVisibility is really important for both of us
Elf Crash MurphyAnd for different reasons, too
Elf Crash MurphyI need to see Santa
Elf Crash MurphyAll the time
Elf Crash MurphyBut Santa needs to see everything
Elf Crash MurphyHe lands a lot, I don’t
Elf Buck SanchezBut you have a pilot, do you not?
Elf Crash MurphyIndeed I do. And that’s one guy I take very good care of.
Elf Crash MurphyAnd I can’t fly a sleigh and report the news at the same time.
Elf Crash MurphyAgainst regulations
Elf Crash MurphyPlus the union doesn’t like it either.
Elf Lil Creamthere’s elf unions?
Elf Sandy ClausIt sounds like there are a lot of rules up there
Elf Crash MurphyOh yes, there are elf unions. They are a royal pain, too. I don’t mind saying that
Elf Crash MurphyYes, Elf Sandy. There is a lot to know just to BE in a flying sleigh, much less to be a pilot of one
Elf Crash MurphyI have to get re-certified every September
Elf Crash MurphyThere’s a written test and a flight test
Elf Crash MurphyThen there’s the Crash test
Elf Sandy ClausWhoa, what’s that?
Elf Crash MurphyIt’s a test to see if you can react correctly in case of a crash
Elf Crash MurphyThey actually put you in a sleigh and crash it.
Elf Sandy ClausThat sounds…dangerous.
Elf Crash MurphyWell, it’s considered training, so they make sure you don’t get hurt
Elf Crash MurphyBut they are watching your reactions to see if you have the discipline to be in a flying sleigh
Elf Crash MurphyNot everyone can do it.
Elf Sandy ClausGolly
Elf Crash MurphyYeah, there’s a lot more to it than people know.
Elf Crash MurphyI guess Santa doesn’t want to tell my mother bad news or something
Elf Sandy ClausI should say not!
Elf Sandy ClausA lot of elves, you know, ask to go in Santa’s sleigh with him.
Elf Crash MurphyYes, I’m aware
Elf Crash MurphyI get asked it all the time
Elf Crash MurphyI hate to let them down
Elf Crash MurphyBut if they knew the certification process alone….
Elf Sandy ClausI actually think that’s a good answer.
Elf MaxFolks, we’re needing to wrap up this first session.
Elf MaxCrash, thanks for being here.
Elf Crash MurphyMy pleasure.
Elf Crash MurphyCan’t wait to hear the rest of it.
Elf MaxWill you be available for more questions later?
Elf Crash MurphyI plan on being here as long as I can, yes
Elf MaxGreat, thanks!
Elf Crash MurphyThanks everyone!
Elf Lil Creamthank u!
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