Elf Crash Murphy stopped in to Elf Chat this week for a brief discussion to catch up on things. Talked about was St. Patrick’s Day, a weird airplane flight to LA for Crash, and answering difficult mail that comes in from non-believers.

sugarcookie77	Good morning!
Elf Crash Murphy	Hey y’all
sugarcookie77	How are you, Elf Crash?
Elf Crash Murphy	Doing really well! How are you sugar cookie?
sugarcookie77	Glad to hear it! I’m doing well, thanks!
Elf Crash Murphy	Frank seems to be having trouble getting on
sugarcookie77	I hope he’s able to figure it out! It took me a little while to find Elf Chat with the new website layout.
Elf Crash Murphy	That’s why we do the chat!
Elf Frank Myrrh	Well, that was fun.
Elf Crash Murphy	Ah, there you are…!
sugarcookie77	Good morning, Elf Frank! How are you?
Elf Frank Myrrh	I’m doing very well. Nice to see you Sugar Cookie! How are you?
sugarcookie77	I’m glad to hear that, and thank you, it’s nice to see you too! I’m doing well, thanks!
Elf Frank Myrrh	Crash, do we have a plan for this chat today?
Elf Crash Murphy	You mean like a theme or something?
Elf Frank Myrrh	Yeah, what are we talking about?
Elf Crash Murphy	I dunno. No theme really. We haven’t shared any news for a while, cause we haven’t had a chance to. But really I think this was meant to be more of a check in and how-do-you-do kind of affair.
Elf Frank Myrrh	It is not like there has been a great deal to share either, Crash. Pretty normal for this time of year.
Elf Crash Murphy	Yessir. We’ve got at least another month of this kind of quiet.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Right. It’s amazing what happens in May. All of a sudden people start to remember Christmas is coming.
Elf Crash Murphy	Yes. Even my mail has become slow. I never thought it would go back to normal again, but it has the past couple of months.
Elf Frank Myrrh	I know you were a bit worried about that at one time. Got a handle on it now?
Elf Crash Murphy	Well yes and no. I’m still getting some questions and things that are new to me. Stuff guys like Santa get all the time that usually pass me by. So I still struggle with how to handle all of it.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Really? Like what?
Elf Crash Murphy	I think the hard ones for me are those who write in to say Santa didn’t visit them or did not bring them what they wanted for Christmas. Those are not fun to deal with.
Elf Frank Myrrh	So how do you deal with them?
Elf Crash Murphy	Some of them I talk to Elf Ed Zachary about. He’s dealt with those things a lot.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Oh boy.
Elf Crash Murphy	Yeah, he’s gets a little impatient with some of those letter writers.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Is it because they can sometimes be a little bitter or mean?
Elf Crash Murphy	Yes, and he has no problem throwing it back at them. But that’s not me. I’d rather tell them a knock knock joke or something. You know? Something to lighten things up.
Elf Frank Myrrh	You’re definitely not a confrontational kind of guy, Crash. Do you get a lot of back and forth when you answer this stuff or do you just end the conversation?
Elf Crash Murphy	I don’t end it…but after I explain what I can that usually ends it. They usually don’t write back after I respond. Except this one kid from New Jersey. Little Roscoe. Dude won’t leave me alone. He doesn’t believe in Santa but his questions are ENDLESS.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Maybe he just believes in Elf Crash Murphy.
Elf Crash Murphy	Oh good golly, no.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Give yourself a little credit, Crash. A lot of people out there really appreciate your work.
Elf Crash Murphy	It’s not really work, Frank. I don’t know how to be anyone but me. And I find it challenging sometimes to be me and do the job Santa wants. I don’t know how he does it.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Well, how is Santa? I still haven’t seen him yet since he’s been home. I know he’s super busy.
Elf Crash Murphy	He is, Frank. I think Santa has a big agenda and he’s getting around to people as best he can. I have seen him a little but not really that much more than you. I suspect our time is coming.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Crash, I keep getting questions from people – tracker elves – about Santa’s message for them.
Elf Crash Murphy	Oh yes, I do too.
Elf Frank Myrrh	When is Santa going to speak?
Elf Crash Murphy	I think he’s waiting until more trackers are around – like May, Frank. I haven’t been able to talk to him about it.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Maybe you should say something about it.
Elf Crash Murphy	I’ve had that thought. Even talked to Elf Ernest about it. But I keep feeling like I need to wait.
Elf Frank Myrrh	So what about all the messages some elves are sending you?
Elf Crash Murphy	I’m telling them to just be patient. That Santa will speak up when the time is right.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Is that satisfying them?
Elf Crash Murphy	No.
Elf Frank Myrrh	LOL. I thought it was just me.
Elf Crash Murphy	You get mail, Frank?
Elf Frank Myrrh	Just about you and Santa, Crash.
Elf Crash Murphy	Hahaha – yeah, right!
Elf Crash Murphy	Elf Sugar Cookie, do you have a question for Frank and I today?
Elf Frank Myrrh	I’m not the one doing questions, Crash. This is all about you.
Elf Crash Murphy	Oh be quiet, Frank. If Sugar Cookie has a question I know you’ll answer it if you can.
Elf Frank Myrrh	I’m just a little old radio elf, Crash. I’m only here because Max couldn’t come today.
Elf Crash Murphy	What’s up with Maxy?
sugarcookie77	I’m not sure! I think you guys covered a lot! I was going to ask if Elf Trixie was ok, as we hadn’t heard from her in a while, but I saw she posted something today. Other than that… do you guys have any plans for St. Patrick’s Day? I know not every elf celebrates.
sugarcookie77	Oh, is Elf Max ok?
Elf Frank Myrrh	Oh we knew he’d have some time problems this time of year with school and all. He’ll be back soon.
Elf Frank Myrrh	My St. Patrick’s Day plans are simple. I’m checking to see if Crash wears green. If he doesn’t I get to pinch him.
sugarcookie77	LOL
Elf Crash Murphy	My only plans are to throw potatoes at Frank’s house.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Hahaha!
sugarcookie77	LOL- watch out, Elf Frank!
Elf Frank Myrrh	What about you Sugar Cookie?
Elf Crash Murphy	Yeah, do you do anything for St. Patrick’s Day?
sugarcookie77	Not much out of the ordinary! I’ll probably just wear green and eat Lucky Charms cereal. Lol
sugarcookie77	Thanks for asking!
Elf Frank Myrrh	Crash, I heard you were experimenting with some things for St. Patrick’s Day.
Elf Crash Murphy	Yes, I made green milk and put it on my Cheerios. Kind of disgusting.
sugarcookie77	Lol, how did you make green milk?
Elf Frank Myrrh	Uh…oh. Wow, Crash. Words fail. You don’t do Lucky Charms, too?
Elf Crash Murphy	Just used some food coloring. But it made my Cheerios look kind of barfy.
Elf Crash Murphy	No, I should have done Lucky Charms. That makes so much sense to me now.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Do it change the taste?
Elf Crash Murphy	Not really. But it didn’t look appetizing, Frank. I had a hard time choking it down.
Elf Frank Myrrh	I guess we better work on our St. Patrick’s Day game a little bit.
Elf Crash Murphy	Yes, it’s not really a tradition most elves at the North Pole get into. I think that disappoints some people out there.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Elf Ed Zachary was going to write an article about it but Elf Ernest killed it.
Elf Crash Murphy	He did?
Elf Frank Myrrh	Yes. Elf Ed Zachary told me Ernest said he was being too harsh in the article.
Elf Crash Murphy	Wow. I didn’t think anyone shut down Ed Zachary.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Well if anyone could do it, it would be Elf Ernest.
Elf Crash Murphy	So I take it Elf Ed Zachary is not a fan of St. Patrick’s Day?
Elf Frank Myrrh	Nope. I read the article. He slammed it pretty good.
Elf Crash Murphy	Oh. Well, I guess it’s a good thing it’s not out there then. A lot of people really have a lot of fun with St. Patrick’s Day.
Elf Frank Myrrh	I think that’s the gist of what Elf Ernest told him. You know, not to spoil it for others.
Elf Frank Myrrh	But, Elf Ed Zachary was approaching it from a North Pole perspective. I get why he might have been upset a little bit.
Elf Crash Murphy	Has anyone ever confused you for a leprechaun, Frank?
Elf Frank Myrrh	No. Has that happened to you?
Elf Crash Murphy	Yes. I had to take a flight about a week ago – you know, a regular airplane? – from Sydney to Los Angeles. I was asked if I was a leprechaun.
Elf Frank Myrrh	No way!
Elf Crash Murphy	Way. It was awkward.
Elf Frank Myrrh	You were not dressed…well, as yourself?
sugarcookie77	That sounds very awkward. If you don’t mind me asking, what was the flight for?
Elf Crash Murphy	I was. I’m a fairly normal looking person, Frank. It was warm, kinda. Had on Birkenstocks and shorts. T-shirt. How is that like an leprechaun?
Elf Frank Myrrh	You’re not a normal looking person, Crash.
Elf Crash Murphy	Hey
sugarcookie77	Ouch
Elf Frank Myrrh	No, I’m not being mean here, Crash.
Elf Frank Myrrh	What I mean, and maybe its because we’re elves…you have a unique look. I don’t know anything about leprechauns but maybe you look like one and don’t know it?
Elf Crash Murphy	Frank, I didn’t have a stitch of green on. No glittery hats. Nothing leprechaun like at all.
Elf Frank Myrrh	So why did they think you were a leprechaun.
Elf Crash Murphy	I have no idea. Although he was drinking quite a bit on the flight. I don’t think it was water, either.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Oh. Did you mention to him you are an elf?
Elf Crash Murphy	Weeeeellllllll, I maybe kinda sorta could have let that slip a little tiny bit.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Oh….I see
Elf Crash Murphy	Ok, it was my fault.
Elf Crash Murphy	And he asked me about my pot of gold.
Elf Crash Murphy	And I told him to go drink green milk.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Lol, so this guy really irritated you, Crash?
Elf Crash Murphy	Yeah, he got on my nerves and I made the whole thing worse.
sugarcookie77	LOL!! Between you telling him you’re an elf and (especially) the non-water part, I understand the mix-up. Sorry that happened to you
Elf Frank Myrrh	Why did you take a regular airplane anyway?
Elf Crash Murphy	Because I got done there early and I had sent my sleigh off with the reindeer to South America for a few days for the reindeer. Didn’t think I would need them.
Elf Crash Murphy	And I just was really ready to get out of Australia.
Elf Frank Myrrh	And go to LA???!!!
Elf Crash Murphy	It was the first flight I could get. I couldn’t get any closer to South America than that quickly.
Elf Frank Myrrh	What business did you have in Australia?
Elf Crash Murphy	A meeting with Elf Randi. We were going to scout some islands near Samoa. But she had a family thing come up and I was suddenly done there.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Ah, I see. Adventures of the International Director of Santa Trackers
Elf Crash Murphy	Yes, that’s my world now….sick weirdos on a flight to LA….
Elf Frank Myrrh	Folks, any last questions for Crash?
Elf Crash Murphy	Frank, we need to finish our last podcast
sugarcookie77	Come to think of it, are you guys doing anything for Easter? That’s coming up pretty soon!
Elf Frank Myrrh	You mean start over?
Elf Crash Murphy	Yes, I mean that. I promise not to talk about that stuff again.
elf radar	Hi Elf Crash. Sorry I was so late. Thanks for doing this chat.
sugarcookie77	Hi Elf Radar! Good to see you!
Elf Crash Murphy	Hi Elf Radar! Nice to see you, friend!
Elf Frank Myrrh	Yeah, Crash. We need to stay on topic. This week?
Elf Crash Murphy	Let’s do it, Frank. Weenies, my office. Wednesday.
sugarcookie77	I’m looking forward to hearing the podcast!
Elf Crash Murphy	I’ll bring the green milk.
sugarcookie77	LOL
Elf Frank Myrrh	Hahaha – I’ll pass, Crash.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Okay everyone, thanks for being here today!
Elf Crash Murphy	Yes, thank you elves Sugar Cookie and Radar!
Elf Frank Myrrh	Bye all!
sugarcookie77	Thank you both for doing this chat! It was so nice to be here with you!
Elf Crash Murphy	Adios!

Elf Crash Murphy, International Director of Santa Trackers and famed Eye-in-the-Sky reporter for North Pole Radio News, held a last minute chat with tracker elves. This is a transcript of that revealing conversation:

Elf Max	Hello!
Elf Max	Sorry, I’m multi-tasking here. Waiting for Crash to show up
Elf Westover	Is Crash Chat Here?
Elf Westover	AMAZING
Elf Westover	I AM SO GLAD I MADE IT
Elf Ulan	Hi Elf Max! Thank you so much for Elf Wall. You are the best! XD
Elf Max	Thank you for being here. I’m having a lot of fun, despite all our little troubles
Elf Max	What time is it there, Elf Ulan?
Elf Ulan	Hi Elf Westover!
Elf Sugar Cookie	Hi! How is everyone doing?
Elf Max	Hello Elf Sugar Cookie!
Elf Ulan	It’s 7:58 am Saturday! Very cold and my fingers don’t work well, lol
Elf Max	Oh my goodness! I keep forgetting you’re Sector 1
Elf Crash Murphy	Hey everybody!
Elf Ashanti	Hello everyone
Elf Westover	I Am Making My Santa Tracking Video Today. I Have Alot To Catch Up On Today
Elf Westover	HELLO!
Elf Sugar Cookie	Hi Elf Crash!
Elf Max	Hello, Crash – how are we doing this?
Elf Ashanti	What time does sector 5 check in
Elf Ulan	Hahaha, which sector do you think I am?
Elf Crash Murphy	We’re just going to chat, Maxy. No rules.
Elf Ulan	Hi Elf Crash!
Elf Max	I just forgot what Sector you were Elf Ulan. In my mind, everyone is in the same sector
Elf Buddy Christmas	did i miss the chat?
Elf Westover	Hey Everyone!
Elf Crash Murphy	Hello Elf Ulan….! I’ll be heading over Japan soon
Elf Crash Murphy	No Elf Buddy Christmas, you’re right on time
Elf Crash Murphy	Hi Elf Westover
Elf Westover	Crash, Have You Been Over North America Yet?
Elf Max	Crash, when do you sleep?
Elf notJack	Hi everyone!
Elf Ashanti	Elf max what time does sector 5 check in
Elf Crash Murphy	I haven’t been anywhere yet but within about 12 hours or so I’ll be on the final test flight of Santa’s sleigh
Elf Ashanti	hi elf jack
Elf Ulan	Elf Crash! Yes, I’m so exciting you are coming here soon! Do you know where my house is, lol?
Elf Westover	I’m Doing a Live Stream To Help The STN! Community And Tracking Santa Tomorrow!
Elf Crash Murphy	Sleep….? Right after this chat I’m taking a nap.
Elf Westover	GREAt idea
Elf Crash Murphy	Elf Ulan, I have no idea where your house is. Maybe you can put out a flag or something
Elf Max	Elf Westover, I hope I can watch your live stream
Elf Max	Crash, you stay up for two full days?
Elf Ulan	Elf Max, yeah, I think so that we are the same sector sometimes XD
Elf Ashanti	Elf Murphy are test flights being done in wadley Georgia
Elf Crash Murphy	Yes, not much sleep to be had until…maybe late Monday.
Elf notJack	do you know where everyone else’s house is?
Elf Westover	Crash, How Are You Doing Flying Over The Sectors? Is It Cold?
Elf Crash Murphy	Elf Ashanti – test flights are done everywhere except for the final test flight. I don’t have any control where that test flight goes. That’s up to the pilot
Elf Ulan	Elf Crash, okay. I’ll put a flag on my house. Please find it! Lol
Elf Ashanti	Thank you
Elf Crash Murphy	Elf Westover, sometimes it is cold. It sure starts out cold at the North Pole.
Elf Westover	I Know That!
Elf Crash Murphy	Do I know where Wadley is? Something about that sounds familiar
Elf Buddy Christmas	Crash, Do you eat or drink anything while up int the air  while following Santa?
Elf Ashanti	It is in Georgia
Elf Ashanti	It is 1 hour from Augusta elf Murphy
Elf Crash Murphy	I don’t know where individual houses are, Elf Not Jack. I don’t have time to pay attention to that because I’m in the air all the time.
Elf Westover	Crash, I Hope You Get Safely Back For The Big Flight ARound The World
Elf Crash Murphy	My job is to watch Santa
Elf Sugar Cookie	Hi Elf Crash! When we’re told to “stand down”, what does that mean for our reports? Just to double-check, would we stop sending in reports until our Elf Supervisor asks for them again next year?
Elf Westover	Like All Of Us We Track Santa For Santa
Elf Crash Murphy	Elf Buddy Christmas, I eat constantly on the flight. There’s not much else to do but to keep an eye on Santa and an ear on the radio. I love this though. Best day of the year for this elf.
Elf Ashanti	Do you know where wadley is elf Murphy
Elf Crash Murphy	Oh my goodness. I was born in Georgia.
Elf Westover	AMAZING!
Elf Westover	I’ve Lived Their
Elf Westover	Once
Elf Crash Murphy	Yes, Elf Sugar Cookie – a stand down order is kind of like a Bedtime Advisory – it means your job is done.
Elf Ulan	Elf Crash, you will go to the last test flight at the port. Will the nine reindeer fly with the sleigh then? How’s Vixen?
Elf Crash Murphy	The test flight uses reindeer from the test flight team. Santa’s reindeer are saved for, well, Santa.
Elf Sugar Cookie	Thank you!
Elf Crash Murphy	I haven’t heard anything new about Vixen. I tried to get time to go over there today but it didn’t happen. I’m worried about her.
Elf Crash Murphy	I know when Santa gets back to the North Pole the first thing he’s going to do is to visit Vixen. This is all kind of a big deal.
Elf Westover	Crash, This Year I Will Be Making The Feast. Crash, I Have Alot Of Suprises For You Guys!
Elf Crash Murphy	The feast? What’s in it? You do a feast? Man, that sounds awesome.
Elf Sugar Cookie	I’m worried about Vixen, too. I hope she’s well enough to fly; I’m sure she would be heartbroken if she couldn’t.
Elf Westover	It’s a Tradition
Elf Ulan	Thank you, Elf Crash. I hope the rest will go well and the weather will be okay!
Elf Crash Murphy	Vixen is a spunky girl and I’ll tell you – I think she could fly with one leg.
Elf Westover	We Get Turkey Cracker Sandwiches, Chocolate, And So Much More Like Cookies!
Elf Crash Murphy	Can’t do anything about the weather. We run into it all. I saw Elf Randi’s post about the thunderstorms in the South Pacific. That’s going to be weird.
Elf notJack	About the bedtime advisories, how strict are they?
Elf Crash Murphy	The bedtime advisories are just that – they are advisories. Santa knows families have a lot of stuff going on and can I tell you a little secret about that?
Elf Westover	Crash, Do You Know When We Need To Check In?
Elf Crash Murphy	Elf Westover, you’re in Sector 5 still right?
Elf notJack	secret?
Elf Westover	Yes
Elf Crash Murphy	Yes, the secret about bedtime advisories is that a lot of parental types will tell Santa in advance when NOT to come. That happens a LOT
Elf Ulan	I think you will check in soon, Elf Westover
Elf Crash Murphy	Elf Westover, Sector 5 will begin check-ins in a few hours. It won’t be long. You’ve got 24 hours to check in, so if you fall asleep in your cheerios you can do it when you wake up
Elf Crash Murphy	I can tell you have had a monster response to check ins in Europe. It’s very exciting to see that
Elf Westover	Do you know how to check in? I’m very new t
Elf Max	How do you hear about stuff like that, Crash? Is it different now?
Elf Ulan	Yes, I checked in around 9 pm last night
Elf Crash Murphy	Elf Westover, when Elf Pinky posts it the check in form is on the post. Just watch the sector 5 news page or ask another elf on the Elf Wall. Plenty of people there to help
Elf Westover	I Don’t Know How To Check In. Do I Login Like The Other Times?
Elf Crash Murphy	Maxy, as a reporter I had to go ask. Now in my new job, I tell them to call me. Today I have been getting texts like crazy
Elf Westover	I’ll Be Right Back
Elf Max	Sorry, Crash. I’ll leave you alone.
Elf Crash Murphy	Hahaha – you better not, Max. I know you’re not getting any sleep here because you’re always on the job.
Elf Max	Have you ever thought that you and Frank should trade places?
Elf Crash Murphy	Heck no. Frank would never go report from a sleigh.
Elf Max	He wouldn’t? Why not?
Elf Crash Murphy	Because it would mess up his hair
Elf notJack	how many people sight you and santa on the journey?
Elf Lil Cream	Sorry I’m late
Elf Ulan	Elf Crash, the weather is weird here too. It’s been more chili than usual since a few days ago. I saw snow, and its very rare. Please stay warm and safe! I worry about your flight suit and goggles.
Elf Crash Murphy	You know what, Elf Not Jack – I wish I knew the answer to that because I’ve asked the same question. We always interview people on the radio who say they see us
Elf Crash Murphy	Elf Ulan, Santa goes north-south a lot and I layer my clothes. So I’m always putting stuff on and taking it off.
Elf Crash Murphy	My sleigh has a good heated seat though
Elf Sugar Cookie	Do you have an air conditioner for warmer locations?
Elf Max	Does Frank really care that much about his hair?
Elf Crash Murphy	Yeah, there is heat and air conditioning on the sleigh. Sometimes it gets confusing. I’ll have a hot b*m then need the air to cool me down.
Elf Crash Murphy	Frank is always fussing with his hair. He uses more hairspray than a gorilla
Elf Max	Hahaha – is that why you fly in the sleigh, because you’re bald?
Elf Crash Murphy	LOL, yes, that’s pretty much my main qualification.
Elf Crash Murphy	That and I don’t throw up any more in flight.
Elf Max	I know you’re kidding, but did that really happen to you?
Elf Ulan	Elf Crash, yes, Santa, and you fly the North-South sounds very crazy. But I feel relieved your sleigh and suit sound comfortable.  Is your sleigh open sleigh too?
Elf Crash Murphy	Oh yeah. Think about it. A sleigh in the air is more unstable than a boat on the water. You gotta have an iron stomach.
Elf Crash Murphy	Yes, both sleighs are open. But we have wind shields we sometimes put up. It’s the wet that can be a problem. That’s why I’m worried about the rain in the South Pacific.
Elf Max	Do you get rained on and snowed on a lot??
Elf Crash Murphy	Yes, every year. Leaving the North Pole in a blizzard is really the worst. It’s like being in a blender.
Elf Crash Murphy	Wow, you guys are asking GREAT questions today!
Elf Sugar Cookie	Yikes! you really aren’t kidding when you’ve said that sleigh flight isn’t for everyone!
Elf Crash Murphy	Hi Elf Lil Cream!
Elf Crash Murphy	It isn’t for everyone, Elf Sugar Cookie
Elf Max	Where’s Frank right now? Asleep?
Elf Crash Murphy	Frank is lining up all the field reporters. Holly Berry, Red Stocking, Elf Al, etc.
Elf Crash Murphy	But I understand he’s got to get some sleep too – like before Sector 5 starts checking in. Frank sits in the Big Chair and he’s up longer than even me.
Elf Ulan	Thank you, Elf Crash. I hope you have a nice rain poncho or covering sleigh or something can put automatically!
Elf Lil Cream	How do the trackers who are interviewed during the radio show get on?
Elf notJack	how do the field reporters get around so quickly?
Elf Westover	Crash, I Will Really Try To Check In. Its 4:28 PM In My Sector But I Am Really Confused About How Do I Check In?
Elf Crash Murphy	Yes, Elf Ulan. Frank got me a pair of goggles with little windshield wipers on them. I can’t wait to try it out
Elf Crash Murphy	Elf Westover, relax. I’ll have Elf Max help you, ok?
Elf Westover	Thank You Crash!
Elf Lil Cream	Haha! Fun
Elf Ulan	Perfect goggles! XD
Elf Crash Murphy	The field reporters got sent to their areas of service days ago, some even weeks ago. And they have their own sleigh drivers too. But they do a lot of work by phone. Especially Elf Carol Frost in Sector 1
Elf Westover	Bye Everyone Se You Tomorrow. Sorry, I Have To Leave So Soon, I Got Some Work ANd Reports To Do. BYE!
Elf Crash Murphy	Bye Elf Westover. Good work!
Elf Crash Murphy	And I should be going too. Any last questions?
Elf Westover	THANKS!
Elf Westover	I Have One Last Question
Elf Max	Crash, good travels to you. Be safe!
Elf Crash Murphy	Go ahead, Elf Westover
Elf Westover	Do You Have Any Chocolate In Your Sleigh? XD
Elf Crash Murphy	Yes, chocolate is a must. I usually like a Symphony bar with the toffee bits. Man, I love those. Mrs. Claus also packs me some fudge.
Elf Ulan	Will it finish? Thank you so much, Elf Crash. Please take care, looking forward to seeing you. Merry Christmas and happy birthday! XD
Elf Crash Murphy	Hey, Elf Westover, is there any good Mexican food where you are?
Elf Westover	Awesome. But Whats Your Favorite Candy. I Want To Leave You All Something
Elf Westover	Yes Tons Here
Elf Crash Murphy	Thank you, Elf Ulan. I’ll be looking for you!
Elf Westover	Burrito’s Are One Of My Favorites
Elf Crash Murphy	I have a feeling by the time we get to Utah we’ll be in the mood for Mexican.
Elf Westover	I Live On Tuscany Rd.
Elf Crash Murphy	Really? Me too. Man, now i’m hungry.
Elf Ulan	Thank you, Elf Crash! XD
Elf Westover	Ha Twins
Elf Crash Murphy	I’m in the air – roads are hard for me to identify
Elf Westover	Safe Travels Crash And Have All The Chocolate You Want
Elf Crash Murphy	OK, gotta scoot. Merry Christmas all of you. And THANK YOU for tracking Santa for Santa.
Elf Lil Cream	Thanks for stopping by crash! Have a great day and merry Christmas!
Elf Max	Thanks Crash!
Elf Westover	Whats Your Favorite Candy Crash?
Elf Max	And thanks for being here everyone. This was a lot of fun.
Elf Ulan	Merry Christmas!
Elf Westover	Bye Crash!
Elf Max	Merry Christmas all!
Elf Ulan	Thank you, Elf Max!

Elf Ed Zachary is the new News Director at the North Pole. He has for years served as a columnist at the North Pole Gazette and at SantaUpdate.com. He is known as the Great Defender of Santa Claus for his many candid answers to questions from non-believers. Here is the transcript of our chat with him today:

Elf Frank Myrrh	Hello, Mr. Zachary. Welcome to Santa Tracker Chat!
Elf Ulan	Thank you so much, you’re the best too, Elf Max!
Elf Ed Zachary	Thank you for the invite. I’m not sure I can do as well as Elf Buck, but I will do my best.
Elf Ulan	Hello Elf Ed Zachary! Nice to meet you!
Elf Frank Myrrh	That was quite a chat
Elf Ed Zachary	Yes, I read the recap. I should have been here. I had no idea chat could be so interesting
Elf Ed Zachary	Hello, Elf Ulan. I’ve heard a lot about you!  Nice to meet you
Elf Ulan	(I’m sorry, my hands don’t work well)
Elf Ulan	About me?
Elf Frank Myrrh	All, in this chat we will get to know Elf Ed Zachary a little better
Elf Ed Zachary	Oh yes, you are a very popular elf at the North Pole.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Elf Ed Zachary is the new News Director at the North Pole
Elf Ulan	Really? I’m so surprised it, Elf Ed Zachary
Elf Frank Myrrh	He takes over from Elf Ernest the responsibilities of running all news operations at the North Pole – the radio, the websites, the newspaper, the TV station and more now fall to him
Elf Frank Myrrh	Elf Ed Zachary is very well known at the North Pole and around the world
Elf Frank Myrrh	He has had two enduring roles in the news business at the North Pole
Elf Frank Myrrh	He is a longtime columnist for the North Pole Gazette, duties he still enjoys
Elf Frank Myrrh	And he is known as the Defender of Santa Claus
Elf Frank Myrrh	For years he has engaged in a very public way with the most ardent critics and Non-Believers in Santa, answering their most difficult questions.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Welcome Elf Ed Zachary to SantaTrackerChat
Elf Ed Zachary	Thank you, Mr. Myrrh for that rousing introduction
Elf Ed Zachary	I hope I don’t disappoint
Elf Frank Myrrh	An elf with your experience has a lot to share, Mr. Zachary
Elf Frank Myrrh	But I had heard a rumor you were thinking of retiring, kind of like Elf Rusty Belz did recently
Elf Ed Zachary	Yes, I was thinking about it
Elf Frank Myrrh	I’m glad you didn’t retire. I think yours is an important voice. What stopped you from retiring?
Elf Ed Zachary	Well, Santa asked me to do this. And I serve at the invitation of Santa. Whatever he wants me to do, I’ll do. Even if it means shoveling reindeer p**p
Elf Max	Hahaha. I agree
Elf Frank Myrrh	So how does the new job fit you? Do you like it?
Elf Ed Zachary	I feel like a fish out of water
Elf Frank Myrrh	Oh really? How come? I think you’re doing a great job
Elf Ed Zachary	Hahaha – you just want a raise
Elf Ed Zachary	I’ve never been a manager, Frank. It feels funny to me.
Elf Frank Myrrh	You sound kind of like Crash, he says the same
Elf Ed Zachary	Yes, he and I have talked. We have both been just kind of worker bee elves our whole lives. Not responsible for anyone or anything. So it’s a strange feeling
Elf Frank Myrrh	Are there a lot of changes you will be bringing to North Pole news?
Elf Ed Zachary	No, I think Elf Ernest had this running really well. I will take a wait-and-see approach to things and take suggestions before we make any kind of changes.
Elf Frank Myrrh	What about your personal writing? I know you’ve done that for years. Will we hear more from you?
Elf Ed Zachary	I’m a writer first, Frank. You know that better than anyone. I would love to have more time to devote to it. But I don’t know yet. I’m awfully busy with so many things now
Elf Frank Myrrh	Do you feel your new responsibilities cut into your ability to write more?
Elf Ed Zachary	Yes, the definitely do. I’m trying to juggle things, but I find it difficult.
Elf Frank Myrrh	For years you have defended Santa and your best work comes from answering those who don’t believe in Santa
Elf Ed Zachary	Yes, thank you
Elf Frank Myrrh	Will you still be doing that?
Elf Ed Zachary	I hope to, yes. I will try my best
Elf Frank Myrrh	How did that start for you?
Elf Ed Zachary	Years ago, when Elf Wally was over the North Pole Post Office, he took some sad letters to Santa and insisted we answer them. Santa brought them to me and the rest is history.
Elf Max	What did the letters say?
Elf Ed Zachary	Most of the letters from the non-believers out there are all the same. They all claim there is no Santa. And I answer them, because it’s really easy.
Elf Max	It doesn’t sound easy to me.
Elf Ed Zachary	Max, how dumb does a person have to be to send a letter to the North Pole saying there is no Santa Claus?
Elf Max	True, that makes no sense at all
Elf Frank Myrrh	So you just call these people dumb?
Elf Ed Zachary	Yeah. Because they are dumb. Anyone who doesn’t believe in Santa and then writes to his Post Office isn’t dealing from a full stocking
Elf Frank Myrrh	Hahaha. So what else do they say?
Elf Ed Zachary	Well, some really have a problem believing there are flying reindeer.
Elf Max	Well, they likely have never seen a reindeer fly. I didn’t believe it until I saw it for myself.
Elf Ed Zachary	Why Max? Did Santa not come to your house every year?
Elf Max	Yeah, he did.
Elf Ed Zachary	Then how did you suppose he got there? He didn’t take a plane cause a plane could never land at your house. And a helicopter might work but it would wake everyone up. So he took reindeer. What’s so unbelievable about that?
Elf Max	Well, I just didn’t know. I see birds fly, so I believe it.
Elf Max	But I had never seen a reindeer fly.
Elf Ed Zachary	Well, that’s silly. Santa would never take a bird to your house.
Elf Max	No, I’m not saying that. I’m just saying I knew birds could fly because I had seen them. I never saw a reindeer fly until long after I became an elf.
Elf Ulan	Because birds are too small?
Elf Ed Zachary	So now, to you, a former denier of flying reindeer, now believe?
Elf Ed Zachary	Of course birds are too small. Besides, they make Santa hungry.
Elf Max	Yes, I believe.
Elf Ed Zachary	I’m glad Max. But you’re the kind of guy that gives me something to write about.
Elf Max	Hahaha. I never considered complaining about not believing in flying reindeer.
Elf Ed Zachary	No, because you’re a good guy and you likely WANTED to believe it.
Elf Ulan	(wow! Santa likes it)
Elf Ed Zachary	Am I right?
Elf Max	Yes, you are right. I wanted to believe it.
Elf Ed Zachary	That’s all I do is write to those who want to believe but don’t understand. I love doing that.
Elf Frank Myrrh	You are exceptional at that calling Mr. Zachary. I hope you can continue.
Elf Frank Myrrh	What questions do you all have for Elf Ed Zachary?
Elf Ulan	Yes, please!
Elf Max	Does Santa ever get mad at you for what you write?
Elf Ed Zachary	Santa sometimes thinks I am too blunt, yes.
Elf Ed Zachary	Yes, Elf Ulan?
Elf Frank Myrrh	Has Santa ever stopped you from saying something?
Elf Ulan	Do you think Elf Harriet Bow doing is the scoop?
Elf Ed Zachary	No, not exactly. But he did tell me once I shouldn’t have called that kid from Wisconsin a chowderhead.
Elf Ed Zachary	You mean Elf Harriet writing the Scoop?
Elf Frank Myrrh	Why did you call a kid from Wisconsin a chowderhead?
Elf Ed Zachary	Because he WAS a chowderhead. He claimed his PARENTS were putting stuff in his stocking. What a dork!
Elf Max	Oh man….
Elf Frank Myrrh	How do you know his parents didn’t? A lot of parents do
Elf Ulan	I heard Elf Harriet will find Santa and return to the North Pole together!?
Elf Ed Zachary	I know because I asked Santa if he did it or if it was his parents. You don’t think I check these things out?
Elf Ed Zachary	I haven’t heard Elf Harriet has found Santa…yet. But if anyone could do it, it could be Harriet
Elf Frank Myrrh	So you asked Santa and Santa said he filled the kid’s stocking?
Elf Ed Zachary	Yes, he did. I tried explaining that – nicely – to the kid.
Elf Ed Zachary	But then he called me a liar. He’s lucky all I did was call him a chowderhead.
Elf Max	Oh boy…so how does this story end?
Elf Ed Zachary	I called him a chowder head and everyone got mad. He got mad. Santa got mad. His parents got mad. I got mad.
Elf Frank Myrrh	That’s it? That’s the end of the story?
Elf Ed Zachary	Santa himself told the kid to check his stocking again. So the kid did and sure enough there was something in there the kid had not seen before.
Elf Max	What was it?
Elf Ulan	Okay, thank you. And Elf Trixie doesn’t like to write Christmas countdown. Does she still like that?
Elf Ed Zachary	I don’t know. Only he and Santa knows. But whatever it was changed his mind.
Elf Frank Myrrh	So he believes in Santa now?
Elf Ed Zachary	Yes, but it is even better than that.
Elf Max	It is? How?
Elf Ed Zachary	He’s an elf
Elf Frank Myrrh	No way!
Elf Ed Zachary	Yeah, he works at the North Pole Post Office now. He answers letters….from other chowderheads. I see him all the time.
Elf Max	Oh wow.
Elf Ed Zachary	Yeah, thats what I call him now. Elf Chowderhead. He’s actually a good friend.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Hahaha. That is a fantastic sotry.
Elf Ed Zachary	That is why I love my job.
Elf Ed Zachary	Elf Trixie does like to write the countdown. I really like her. She does a great job
Elf Ed Zachary	But like me she is in a new job. Struggling a little bit at it.
Elf Ulan	Elf Ed Zachary, sorry, I should change my question. Are most of Santa’s original friends the elves?
Elf Ed Zachary	Working for Santa is like that sometimes. He gives some elves things they never think they can do
Elf Ed Zachary	Santa has many friends, yes. And most are elves. But that’s because they all like Santa and want to be elves.
Elf Frank Myrrh	True, I wanted to work in radio but I never saw myself doing this for Santa. I think I have the best job in the world.
Elf Ed Zachary	Yes, I totally agree with that Frank
Elf Frank Myrrh	Any last questions for Elf Ed Zachary today?
Elf Max	Will we hear your voice with Frank on North Pole Radio News?
Elf Ulan	Oh! Thank you for telling me! Okay, I hope she works well. I understand she’s busy now though
Elf Ed Zachary	Absolutely not
Elf Frank Myrrh	Oh, c’mon Mr. Zachary. I think you’d be great on the radio
Elf Ed Zachary	Nope, I leave that to the pros like you, Frank.
Elf Frank Myrrh	If I get Max to do it would you do it?
Elf Max	Not a chance
Elf Ed Zachary	Hahaha. Yes, if you get Max, you’ll get me.
Elf Ed Zachary	Don’t let me down, Max
Elf Frank Myrrh	No, don’t let ME down, Max. Hahaha.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Thank you for being here, Mr. Zachary. Great chat!
Elf Ed Zachary	My pleasure.
Elf Ulan	Thank you, Elf Zachary, They are lucky to have an amazing friend, Santa!
Elf Max	Yes, great chat. Thank you!
Elf Ed Zachary	Goodbye everyone!
Elf Frank Myrrh	Thanks again for another great day of chat, all.

Elf Agent X is head of North Pole Security. In this chat Elf Agent X talks about the things people do to kidnap Santa, the current search for Santa while he is on walkabout and what to do if you actually find Santa. This is was surprising and informative chat. Here is the transcript:

Elf Max	I’m glad you’re leading this chat, Elf Frank
Elf Frank Myrrh	Why? Because getting answers from Elf Agent X is so fun?
Elf Ulan	Yeah, it’s a very long time no see, lol!
Elf Max	Yes, exactly.
Elf Frank Myrrh	I’ll do my best
Elf Max	I just hope I don’t ask a question he doesn’t like
Elf Frank Myrrh	He’s always nice, Max
Elf Max	Yes, he is. But when he doesn’t want to answer something he tells you!
Elf Ulan	Please tell me is there any questions I can not ask?
Elf Frank Myrrh	You can ask anything you want, Elf Ulan.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Elf Agent X just takes his job seriously.
Elf Frank Myrrh	He’s a good elf
Elf Ulan	Really? Aww, thank you. I believe you!
Elf Max	Ok. I do have questions for him
Elf Frank Myrrh	Great!
Elf Ulan	Is it a holiday there?
Elf Frank Myrrh	At the North Pole? No.
Elf Max	It is Independence Day in the United States. Many elves told me they could not be here today because of that.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Oh, I forgot about that.
Agent X	Hello! One minute to spare
Elf Ulan	Okay, how many holidays do you have there?
Elf Frank Myrrh	You’re right on time, Agent X. Welcome!
Elf Frank Myrrh	We make up holidays every week at the North Pole, it seems
Agent X	Glad to be here.
Elf Ulan	Hello, Elf Agent X! Nice to meet you!
Elf Frank Myrrh	Today we’re chatting with Elf Agent X, head of North Pole Security.
Agent X	Hello, Elf Ulan!
Elf Frank Myrrh	Agent X, this is kind of a rare opportunity. It’s nice to have you here to talk things over a bit.
Agent X	We are always happy to do this, Frank.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Everyone earlier was talking about asking a wrong question to you
Agent X	Really? Why? I don’t think there are wrong questions.
Elf Frank Myrrh	I think there is some mystery about what you do
Agent X	Our job is to keep Santa safe. To keep the North Pole safe.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Does Santa get a lot of threats? Is he in danger?
Agent X	No, Santa is not in danger. He is just one of the most famous people in the world. So we watch out for him.
Elf Frank Myrrh	What are some of the things you worry about when it comes to Santa’s safety?
Agent X	Kidnapping is a constant threat. We find that people do not want to harm Santa so much as they just want to be with him.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Why do you think that is?
Agent X	Well, he’s Santa. He’d be very popular at a Christmas party.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Is that real? Do a lot of people want to seriously take Santa and use his time just for themselves?
Agent X	Yes.
Elf Frank Myrrh	That’s just crazy to me.
Agent X	Agreed.
Elf Max	Agent X, this is Elf Max
Agent X	Hi Max
Elf Max	Is this happening only at Christmas?
Agent X	Mostly, yes.
Elf Max	Does it come from the same place?
Agent X	It comes from all over. It’s not uncommon.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Has anyone actually tried to do something – you know, besides making threats?
Agent X	Yes, for years there was a group led by a guy in a town in Sector 5. In Maine. They tried every Christmas Eve to capture Santa
Elf Max	How did they try?
Agent X	The set up elaborate schemes.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Such as….?
Agent X	Giant nets.
Agent X	Reindeer tie downs
Agent X	Once they tried to get Santa arrested by the local police department
Elf Frank Myrrh	Wow. Did that happen?
Agent X	No. The Police Chief didn’t want an empty stocking.
Elf Max	Hahaha. Smart cop.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Agent X, the search for Santa right now seems to be occupying a lot of your time.
Agent X	Yes, this is one of Santa’s big things right now.
Elf Frank Myrrh	What’s is the current situation. Do we have any clues?
Agent X	We have LOTS of clues. In fact too many clues
Elf Frank Myrrh	What do you mean?
Agent X	They are coming from all over the world. It is difficult to follow up on them all.
Elf Max	So you’re getting lots of pictures and feedback?
Agent X	Yes
Elf Frank Myrrh	So where do you think Santa is?
Agent X	Right now, honestly, we do not have a solid lead
Elf Max	I thought he was in Sector 3
Agent X	Yes, someone said that on the radio or something. But we don’t really know
Elf Frank Myrrh	That might be my fault.
Agent X	No, not your fault, Elf Frank.
Elf Max	Agent X, are you frustrated?
Agent X	No, I love this actually
Elf Frank Myrrh	Does Santa do this kind of thing often?
Agent X	This is the biggest challenge he has ever given us, Frank. He does little things from time to time to train us. He asks us things all the time that we have work to learn. But nothing ever like this. This is new.
Elf Max	What happens if you do find him?
Agent X	THAT is a really good question.
Agent X	Hahaha.
Elf Frank Myrrh	that isn’t part of the game?
Agent X	No and it isn’t something I really thought about. What do you think we should do if we find him?
Elf Max	KIDNAP HIM!
Elf Sugar Cookie	NO! Lol
Agent X	Hahaha. That would be rich.
Elf Frank Myrrh	What would you do if YOU found him, Elf Sugar Cookie?
Agent X	Excellent question, Frank.
Elf Sugar Cookie	Me? That’s a good question. I don’t know what I’d do besides alert you guys.
Elf Max	I would want to prove to the world that I found Santa.
Agent X	How would you prove that?
Elf Max	Take a picture or a video.
Elf Ulan	You should ask the question, Elf sugar Cookie!
Agent X	Those can be faked these days. We get them all the time
Elf Frank Myrrh	You get fake pictures and video
Agent X	Yes, they can be quite funny
Elf Sugar Cookie	Oh, that’s right, Elf Ulan. The question is ‘how is Operation Merry Christmas going?” Right?
Elf Frank Myrrh	Really? How?
Elf Sugar Cookie	Actually, that leads me to another question. How do you know if you’re meeting Santa or just a good impersonator?
Agent X	The question about Operation Merry Christmas is more appropriate for Mrs. Claus or Elf Ernest or maybe Elf Bernard. I’m just security.
Elf Ulan	That’s right! I’ll ask him too! The next maybe…
Agent X	Last year we got a video of a guy who looked like Santa. He was tied up. They wanted money to free him. But they didn’t know one thing
Agent X	Ask anything you want, Elf Ulan
Elf Frank Myrrh	What didn’t they know?
Elf Sugar Cookie	I know, Elf Agent X. I think Elf Ulan was referring to a question someone on here said we could ask Santa to know if it was him or not.
Agent X	They didn’t know that Santa was sitting right there when we opened the video
Elf Max	Hahaha – that’s funny.
Agent X	Santa is never going to lie.
Agent X	If you catch Santa and ask him if he’s Santa, he will tell the truth.
Elf Sugar Cookie	Couldn’t someone lie about being Santa?
Elf Max	For some reason, I really want to catch Santa now
Agent X	Of course they will lie about being Santa. It happens all the time.
Elf Ulan	Elf Agent X, I posted a picture in the Elf Wall. Please check about the man is similar to Santa or different, he’s taller than the man.
Agent X	But let me ask you this, Elf Sugar Cookie.
Agent X	If you thought you caught Santa, what kind of questions would you ask him to validate that he is Santa?
Agent X	Elf Ulan. Thank you for that picture. No, that’s not Santa. Santa is taller. He is built…differently. Santa is actually very fit.
Elf Ulan	(I know it!)
Agent X	There are so many men out there who people think looks like Santa.
Elf Ulan	(to Elf Sugar Cookie)
Elf Sugar Cookie	I’m not sure yet, honestly. i think I would be embarrassed if I, a grown woman, asked a stranger if he was Santa and he turned out not to be. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I was making fun of them, even though I would be genuinely asking.
Agent X	You’re an Elf, Sugar Cookie. Don’t you think you would have a feeling if you were in front of Santa?
Elf Frank Myrrh	I see Santa I think more than most elves. I would recognize him in an instant.
Agent X	Yes, Frank
Elf Sugar Cookie	Yes, sir, I think (I hope) I would.
Agent X	I know you would, Elf Sugar Cookie. You’re a GREAT elf. You’d feel it. So what would you ask him?
Elf Ulan	Thank you, Elf Agent X. Okay Santa is taller than him and more nicer!
Elf Frank Myrrh	Is Santa so disguised that even I would not recognize him?
Elf Sugar Cookie	Thank you so much. I would probably ask how the walkabout is going. An impersonator probably wouldn’t know what to make of that.
Agent X	I can’t answer that, Elf Frank.
Agent X	Right Elf Sugar Cookie. Think about all you know that the average person would not know. Santa would recognize you before you recognize him. But he will answer your questions and I guarantee you the questions you ask will be different from an average person.
Elf Ulan	Did you talk to Elf Winslow about the last walkabout?
Elf Sugar Cookie	Wow, he would recognize me?
Agent X	Yes, we have interviewed Elf Winslow several times. He has been most helpful.
Agent X	Yes, Santa would definitely recognize ALL of you. He knows you well. He’s Santa.
Elf Max	Agent X, are you of the same opinion as Elf Crash – that Santa will NOT be caught?
Elf Ulan	I think so that, Elf Sugar Cookie!
Elf Sugar Cookie	That’s amazing to hear; thank you!
Agent X	No, I disagree with Elf Crash. We are going to find him.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Then you better decide what to do with him once you do!
Elf Ulan	Even me?
Agent X	It would be ironic to catch him, wouldn’t*t?
Agent X	Yes, Elf Ulan. Santa knows you. I guarantee it.
Elf Sugar Cookie	Yes, he would definitely recognize you, Elf Ulan!
Elf Frank Myrrh	If you or some other elf or department finds Santa you will have to prove to the world you did it.
Agent X	I think we will have to meet to discuss this, Frank. Very good point.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Elf Harriet, in Wrapping, says she can catch Santa within a week or two. Do you believe her?
Elf Ulan	Really? It’s incredible and amazing!
Agent X	Elf Harriet is one very tenacious elf. Yes, it’s possible she could do it. I believe her. Never count her out.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Have you spoken to her?
Agent X	No, since your radio interview the other day with her she has disappeared.
Elf Max	Wait – what?
Elf Frank Myrrh	What do you mean she has disappeared?
Agent X	She’s gone. She left. She took a team of elves and they are out searching for Santa.
Elf Ulan	What!?
Elf Sugar Cookie	Wow!!
Elf Frank Myrrh	No way.
Agent X	I thought everyone knew that.
Elf Frank Myrrh	No, she just told me the Wrapping Department could find him within a week or two. She didn’t tell me how.
Elf Ulan	But she is the head of the wrapping department, right?
Elf Sugar Cookie	This would be a great news story, Elf Frank!
Agent X	They’re out looking.
Elf Max	Yes, she’s head of wrapping.
Elf Frank Myrrh	She told you she left?
Agent X	Yes, she called me and said she’d be back soon with Santa
Elf Frank Myrrh	What did you tell her?
Agent X	I told her “Fat chance”
Elf Max	Hahaha!!!
Elf Frank Myrrh	Did she tell you where they were going?
Agent X	No
Elf Sugar Cookie	I hope she finds him; that would be remarkable.
Elf Frank Myrrh	How many elves did she take with her?
Agent X	I don’t know
Elf Frank Myrrh	Did she say…how she would find him and what she would do if she did find him?
Agent X	Nope.
Elf Ulan	(I’m confused, is she with Santa now?)
Elf Frank Myrrh	Have you heard from her?
Elf Sugar Cookie	No, Elf Ulan, but I think she’s trying to find him.
Agent X	Not at all.
Agent X	To my knowledge, they have not found him yet.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Do you know where she is looking?
Elf Ulan	Oh, thank you!
Agent X	Yes, I know
Elf Frank Myrrh	How do you know?
Elf Sugar Cookie	You’re welcome!
Agent X	I can’t tell you that
Elf Max	Hahaha – I knew someone was going to get that answer
Elf Frank Myrrh	So do you think she is close to Santa?
Agent X	I have no reason to think that
Elf Frank Myrrh	Wow, this IS a story.
Elf Ulan	I think if we can guess what Santa is interested in now, we can find around the places!?
Elf Frank Myrrh	I’m gonna call her
Agent X	I’m not sure she’ll take your call. She won’t take mine.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Why not?
Elf Ulan	I guess she knows it…
Agent X	Because she doesn’t want anyone to know what she’s doing.
Elf Frank Myrrh	How is she going to prove she found him?
Agent X	I don’t know.
Elf Frank Myrrh	But you don’t think the Wrapping Department will be successful?
Elf Sugar Cookie	Good idea, Elf Ulan!
Agent X	Never count Harriet out. But I don’t think they have information or skills that other elves don’t have. Santa’s on the run and he’s outsmarting everyone so far.
Elf Ulan	Thank you, Elf Sugar Cookie!
Agent X	Yes, Elf Ulan. Good thinking.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Folks, I’m sorry. We’re over time with Agent X. Any last questions.
Elf Max	I have more questions than ever!
Elf Ulan	Thank you, Elf Agent X!
Agent X	Good. That means I’m doing my job.
Elf Sugar Cookie	Does anyone know where Santa is for safety reasons but won’t tell anyone else? Or is he completely on his own?
Agent X	Santa is completely on his own. I believe he and Mrs. Claus have some way of emergency contact. But don’t quote me on that. It’s just a theory I have.
Elf Frank Myrrh	Well, what if there is an emergency?
Agent X	We will just have to put on our big elf boots and deal with it, I suppose.
Elf Max	Golly
Elf Ulan	Do you think Santa bought some hats this time? Lol
Elf Frank Myrrh	Great chat, Agent X. Thank you for all you have shared today
Agent X	I think Santa is a man of many different looks.
Elf Sugar Cookie	Thank you so much, everyone! This has been a great chat!
Elf Max	Yes, thank you Elf Agent X
Agent X	Thank you all for your efforts. We’ll find Santa!
Elf Ulan	Thank you, Elf Agent X!
Agent X	Bye everyone
Elf Frank Myrrh	Thanks Agent X.
Elf Sugar Cookie	Goodbye!
Elf Frank Myrrh	And thank you everyone for being here. This was great!

Santa’s head elf over Reindeer Operations, Elf Victor, came to Santa Tracker Chat to talk all about Santa’s reindeer and to answer questions elves might have. It was an interesting conversation! Here is the transcript:

Elf Sugar Cookie	Good morning! I apologize for missing the last chat; I just got out of church. How are you?
Elf Ulan	Hi Elf Sugar Cookie!
Elf Max	Hi all! Elf Victor will be here in a minute. He’s got an assistant today, I’m told.
Elf Sugar Cookie	Hi Elf Ulan! How are you?
Elf Max	Elf Victor, as you know, heads up Reindeer Operations at the North Pole. It is a rare treat to get him here!
Elf Ulan	It’ll be the fourth chat today, lol
Elf Max	The 4th?
Elf Victor	Hello
Elf Ulan	Thank you, Elf Sugar Cookie. I’m so good!
Elf Max	Ah, Elf Victor!
Elf Victor	Hi there.
Elf Sugar Cookie	I’m so glad to hear it!
Elf Max	Thank you for being with us today. We’re thrilled to have you with us. How are you?
Elf Sugar Cookie	Hi, Elf Victor!
Elf Victor	I’m doing pretty good for an old guy.
Elf Victor	Hi Elf Sugar Cookie
Elf Victor	Hello Elf Ulan
Elf Victor	Great to be with you today.
Elf Victor	Elf Melanie is typing for me today. She’s much faster than I am!
Elf Ulan	(Yes, Elf Max 6am, 7am, 11pm, and this! It’s midnightnew  here!)
Elf Max	Wow, Elf Ulan! You’re one dedicated elf!
Elf Victor	Elf Ulan, I don’t know where you are but I admire your work ethic!
Elf Ulan	Hello, Elf Victor! It’s been a lot time!
Elf Max	Elf Ulan is in Japan.
Elf Victor	Oh my! That’s outstanding!
Elf Max	What’s the nearest reindeer ranch to Japan?
Elf Sugar Cookie	She is one amazing elf!
Elf Ulan	Yes, I’m in Japan, and 13 hours earlier different lol
Elf Max	Santa has a reindeer ranch in Japan?!!!
Elf Victor	Yes, a small one
Elf Max	Um…where?
Elf Ulan	Thank you, Elf Sugar Cookie. You’re awesome too!
Elf Victor	I can’t disclose the exact locations. But it is in the mountains in Shizuoka
Elf Sugar Cookie	Thank you so much!
Elf Max	Have you been there before?
Elf Ulan	Where????
Elf Victor	Yes, many times. Good reindeer there.
Elf Max	How many reindeer ranches are there?
Elf Ulan	Shizuoka! Around Mt. Fuji? Elf Victor?
Elf Victor	Well, there are ranches large and small. Our total network has 26 full time operating ranches in 17 countries, not including our main ranch at the North Pole
Elf Victor	I cannot share precise locations, Elf Ulan. Security reasons. The ranch in Japan is quite small
Elf Max	I had no idea. So….that brings up a question. Do the reindeer in Japan understand Japanese?
Elf Victor	Yes, they do. The trainers and vets there are all Japanese
Elf Max	So…they’re elves then?
Elf Victor	Yes, of course.
Elf Ulan	Wow, I didn’t know that! Whats the big news for me!
Elf Max	Do you speak Japanese?
Elf Victor	No, I don’t. I have to take a translator with me when I go. I try to go with Santa some times because he’s fluent in Japanese
Elf Max	I don’t think that is surprising.
Elf Victor	Yes, Santa speaks many languages. He’s always learning something new. He loves to speak with people in their native tongue.
Elf Ulan	I can be your translator, Elf Victor! XD
Elf Victor	Elf Ulan, I might take you up on that!
Elf Max	This is really interesting. How often do you travel to the different ranches?
Elf Victor	I don’t travel as much as I used to. We do a lot of work by Zoom and stuff now. The world has gotten smaller with technology.
Elf Max	Were you there last week when Santa went to Bolivia?
Elf Ulan	Please take me up there! I’m so delighted it!
Elf Victor	No, but I was part of the arrangements for that trip for Santa. I knew all about it in advance.
Elf Victor	I’d have to clear that with Santa, Elf Ulan.
Elf Max	How many elves besides you and Santa get to visit these ranches?
Elf Victor	No many. You have to be certified to go to the ranches. We keep them closed to the publc.
Elf Max	Why keep them closed? I think a lot of people would want to visit Santa’s reindeer.
Elf Victor	Yes, they would. But that’s why we keep them closed. They would be so popular they would never get rest.
Elf Max	A lot of people just want to see reindeer fly. You know, to see Santa in his sleigh in the skies.
Elf Ulan	Of course. Please let me know anytime!
Elf Victor	Yes, they would. And many do see Santa when he flies on Christmas.
Elf Victor	You’re an elf, Ulan. And I’m told you’re an excellent elf. We’d just need to get you certified.
Elf Max	So why can’t people see reindeer fly at other times of the year?
Elf Victor	Well, they could. For example, the test flights of Santa’s sleigh are happening now. I suppose people could see that if they are in the right place.
Elf Ulan	How’s Andray going in Bolivia? Elf Victor?
Elf Max	Why don’t we do that? Why can’t we tell people where the sleigh is flying and just let them go see?
Elf Victor	There are a lot of reasons we don’t do that, Max. These are Santa’s reindeer, not circus animals. They do a serious job. Besides, they don’t like that kind of attention.
Elf Victor	Andre is doing really well. He is very excited. I get a call nearly every day about him right now. He really wants to come to the North Pole. Very badly.
Elf Max	I understand that sometimes when Santa travels, especially in November and December when he sees so many children, he sometimes shows his reindeer
Elf Victor	Yes, he does that now and then. But not often. He would only do that with select reindeer. Ones that have been trained to handle public attention.
Elf Max	So…which reindeer would that be?
Elf Victor	Sally is Santa’s favorite for facing a crowd.
Elf Max	Sally? I’ve never heard of Sally.
Elf Victor	Sally is an old, gentle soul. For years she served on Mrs. Claus’ team. She is kind of like a grandma reindeer.
Elf Max	A grandma reindeer? What’s that?
Elf Ulan	That’s good! I hope Andre will come back to the North Pole soon!
Elf Victor	You know. Kind. Gentle. Sweet. Nice.
Elf Victor	She never gets nervous around a lot of people. She will let the children actually pet her. That’s very unusual for a reindeer.
Elf Max	It is? You can’t pet a reindeer?
Elf Victor	Well, you SHOULD NOT pet a reindeer without permission. No.
Elf Ulan	Elf Victor, how do I get it?
Elf Max	I didn’t know that. They don’t like to be petted?
Elf Victor	How do you get what, Elf Ulan?
Elf Sugar Cookie	I’ve tried before and it is not easy. (We were lucky enough to see reindeer on a family vacation one time!) They do like apples though!
Elf Victor	Reindeer do not like to be touched much, Max. They are very private. Space is important to them.
Elf Max	Wow. I never knew
Elf Victor	Yes, Elf Sugar Cookie. Food is a good way to get close to a reindeer and to build trust. They LOVE apples.
Elf Victor	I don’t think the world realizes how much work Santa had to do to get reindeer to do what they do for him and for all of us.
Elf Max	Does Santa pet the reindeer ever?
Elf Victor	He does, but not as much as you might think. Santa understands reindeer like no other person in the world. He respects their space. That’s one reason why we never know for sure when they will show up before Christmas. Santa doesn’t command. He invites.
Elf Ulan	I mean do you need my certified.?
Elf Victor	We would have to work with you to get you certified. But I’m certain you could do it right there at the ranch.
Elf Max	Are many elves certified?
Elf Victor	Yes, we have a large department. To work with the reindeer you have to be certified.
Elf Max	How long does it take to get certified?
Elf Victor	Oh not long. About six years on average.
Elf Max	Wait…six years before an elf can work with reindeer?
Elf Ulan	Which ranch should I go to?
Elf Victor	Six years to WORK with reindeer, not to see them or be around them. You have to learn around the reindeer to get certified.
Elf Victor	Any reindeer ranch could accommodate you, Elf Ulan. I can talk to Santa about it.
Elf Max	So, say Elf Ulan wants to work with the reindeer in some way. It would take her six years to do that?
Elf Victor	Yes, if she is intent on a job as it relates to reindeer in some way – it’s going to take at least six years to get certified to get that job. It’s a lot of work.
Elf Max	Wow. That blows my mind.
Elf Victor	All sleigh pilots have to be reindeer certified. So that’s part of the reason why it takes so long to become a sleigh pilot too.
Elf Max	Holy smokes. I never even thought of that.
Elf Sugar Cookie	That makes sense!
Elf Ulan	Okay, I’d like to try it! 😆
Elf Victor	Yeah, those sleigh pilots have it hard. They have to learn advance mathmatics, lots of science, and also the science of reindeer. Hard than becoming an Astronaut!
Elf Sugar Cookie	Wow!!
Elf Victor	Ok, Elf Ulan. If you’re serious, I’ll talk to Santa about it.
Elf Victor	Yes, I have nothing but respect for the Corps of Sleigh Pilots at the North Pole
Elf Ulan	Yes, please tell Santa. Thank you so much
Elf Max	How many sleigh pilots are there?
Elf Victor	There are close to 20,000 certified sleigh pilots in the world. Not many at all.
Elf Max	Goodness! That’s more than I would have thought.
Elf Victor	It took many years for Santa to build up to that level. There’s now only about four or five per year who get certified. It’s very rare.
Elf Ulan	I heard thousands of reindeer are there
Elf Max	Well, how many elves get certified for reindeer?
Elf Sugar Cookie	Did Santa have to get certified too?
Elf Victor	Yes, elf Ulan. The reindeer number about 65,000 now. All over the world.
Elf Victor	Elf Sugar Cookie. Santa does get certified every few years. Of course, he sets the certification requirements, which include book learning, ranch time and other things. He does all that.
Elf Victor	We have about 40,000 certified elves who work with reindeer in their various jobs.
Elf Ulan	65000 reindeer! And you manage them all!
Elf Max	I had no idea the scope of this was that big.
Elf Sugar Cookie	Wow, that’s incredible. He holds himself to a high standard for sure!
Elf Max	Folks, the time has flown by on this chat and we have learned a lot. Are there any last questions for Elf Victor?
Elf Victor	Santa considers reindeer some of his most important elves. He cannot be Santa without them.
Elf Sugar Cookie	Where does Rudolph usually stay in the off-season (as much as you are allowed to disclose)?
Elf Max	Elf Victor, can we get you back for another chat soon? This has been the best chat for me. I have really learned a great deal.
Elf Ulan	It’s so fast. Elf Victor, are Trixie and Mighty Mick friends? XD
Elf Victor	Rudolph? He’s from North America. He spends a lot of time with family in the Rockies.
Elf Victor	Mighty Mick is friends with everyone he meets. He’s really an exceptional reindeer.
Elf Victor	Yes, he loves Trixie.
Elf Max	Elf Victor THANK YOU so much for being here.
Elf Sugar Cookie	Wow, that’s cool! I had no idea he’s from Sector 5; thanks for letting me know!
Elf Victor	It has been a pleasure. I’d love to come back some time.
Elf Victor	Goodbye everyone! Save up your apples for the reindeer!
Elf Sugar Cookie	Thank you so much; this has been one of the best chats!
Elf Max	Hahaha – will do. Thanks Elf Victor.
Elf Ulan	Aww, thank you. I hope I want to be their friend someday!
Elf Max	wow, what a chat! Thanks for being here you guys!
Elf Sugar Cookie	Thank you Elf Max and Elf Victor (and it was great to talk to you again, Elf Ulan)!
Elf Ulan	Thank you, Elf Victor, Elf Max, and Elf Sugar Cookie!